Mood Making 101

We asked: When it’s time for a little lovin’, how do you get in the mood? Read 15 reader-approved flirty tips and tricks you’ll love.

Charli Penn Mar, 04, 2013

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The best way to beat the winter chill is to heat things up at home. When you’re both busy working hard, raising kids, or both, finding the time for romance can be tricky. We asked how you keep the spark going in your relationship and what makes you feel your sexiest, and as usual, your answers were on point. These are our favorites. Ladies, if your sex life is non-existent, it’s note taking time.

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“A good romantic night usually starts off with us taking a bubble bath together with music and candles. I do this once a week anyhow for my own relaxation, but about twice a month, I ask him to join me.” – JaNai

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“I recently had the deck in our backyard redone with lush landscaping so we could enjoy every inch of our private oasis. (Wink!)” – A. Martin

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“I say warm water in a roman tub, with some candles, scented sandalwood oil, jazz music, plenty of bubbles and very little lighting. You’ll be surprised how erotic it can be!” – Karen

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“Keeping a peaceful and loving home. He is always king of his castle and the apple of my eye, so romance is always in the air.” – Charlie

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“Prepare your man’s favorite meal and if you can’t cook, have it delivered. The aroma of good food in a home naturally relaxes people. Timing is everything. Then, take a shower and spruce yourself up. Put on his suit jacket, sports coat or button down shirt and sexy heels. Make sure you have on a sexy thong, lace panties or boy shorts. (No bra!) Give him a call and say something like, ‘Hey baby, I was just thinking about you and wanted to know how long you’d be.’ Once you know, be ready. When he comes through the door, take his belongings and sit them to the side and tell him not to say a word.” – Kandi

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“An all out striptease for my man drives him crazy! I light candles, turn on some good, slow R&B music and put on the heels and all.” – Kamillah

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“Just me waiting for him in bed in between his favorite color of silk or satin sheets.” – Mary

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“I recommend a quiet dinner by candlelight with soft jazz playing to set the mood. Follow it up with a romantic convo with non-stop eye contact while you sip on nothing but the finest wine. Move on to the sofa and share back-to-back passionate kisses. Next and last, make your way to the master bedroom blindfolded.” – Beverley

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“I'm all about spice, in the kitchen as well as the bedroom. I love to cook, so what I like to do is wear something super sexy, some heels, and an apron and let him watch me move around the kitchen fixing his favorite meal. It excites both of his appetites.” –Ayesha

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“Vacation sex is always a super turn-on for us, especially when we go to ESSENCE Festival. Watching all those beautiful, sexy and powerful brown people all day leads to a hot and steamy night for us.” – Theresa

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“Date nights! Cook his favorite meal, have a picnic in the living room or a scavenger hunt.” – Jela

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“We read erotic novels to each other. Using your imagination and getting ideas at the same time is hot!” – Aimee

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“The mood is set when we leave the house for dinner and my husband knows I'm not wearing any underwear under my dress. It drives him crazy!” – Robin

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“Finding new places, hotels or cities, and wearing something unexpected when you get there.” – Debra

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“I find confidence to be the best aphrodisiac ever. After a high-energy workday, when I'm feeling invincible, I just look into his eyes and have my way with him. He loves that I'm the initiator.” – Stephanie