• Celebrity
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
  • Fashion
    • Fashion News
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Beauty News
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weaves
    • 4C
  • Love
    • Love & Sex
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • Lifestyle News
    • Build Your Legacy
    • Coronavirus: Everything You Need to Know
    • Health & Wellness
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
    • Currency Conversations
  • News
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Videos
  • Events
    • Black Women in Hollywood
    • WELLNESS HOUSE: YEAR OF RENEWAL
    • LEVEL UP: Entrepreneur Summit (DEC 2020)
    • Power Tools
    • SHE GOT NOW
    • Girls United Summit
    • Making Moves Now: Virtual Bootcamp
    • #EF SESSIONS
    • Dear Black Men
    • Cares Act
    • News & Announcements
  • Festival
  • Subscribe
  • Essence Studios
  • Girls United
  • NaturallyCurly
  • Shop Essence

Follow Us

Skip to content
  • Essence Studios
  • Girls United
  • NaturallyCurly
  • Shop Essence
  • Celebrity
    • Celebrity
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
  • Fashion
    • Fashion
    • Fashion News
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Beauty
    • Beauty News
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • AVEENO® Skin Health Startup Accelerator
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weaves
    • 4C
  • Love
    • Love
    • Love & Sex News
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • Lifestyle
    • Lifestyle News
    • Build Your Legacy
    • Coronavirus: Everything You Need to Know
    • Health & Wellness
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
    • Currency Conversations
  • News
    • News
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Videos
  • Events
    • Events
    • Black Women in Hollywood
    • WELLNESS HOUSE: YEAR OF RENEWAL
    • LEVEL UP: Entrepreneur Summit (DEC 2020)
    • Power Tools
    • SHE GOT NOW
    • Girls United Summit
    • Making Moves Now: Virtual Bootcamp
    • #EF SESSIONS
    • Dear Black Men
    • Cares Act
    • News & Announcements
  • Festival
  • Subscribe
Home · Love & Sex

Mood Making 101

We asked: When it’s time for a little lovin’, how do you get in the mood? Read 15 reader-approved flirty tips and tricks you’ll love.

By Charli Penn · March 4, 2013October 28, 2020
01
Mood Making 101

The best way to beat the winter chill is to heat things up at home. When you’re both busy working hard, raising kids, or both, finding the time for romance can be tricky. We asked how you keep the spark going in your relationship and what makes you feel your sexiest, and as usual, your answers were on point. These are our favorites. Ladies, if your sex life is non-existent, it’s note taking time.

Getty Images
02
Forget the Shower, It’s Bath Time!

“A good romantic night usually starts off with us taking a bubble bath together with music and candles. I do this once a week anyhow for my own relaxation, but about twice a month, I ask him to join me.” – JaNai

Getty Images
03
Create an Oasis

“I recently had the deck in our backyard redone with lush landscaping so we could enjoy every inch of our private oasis. (Wink!)” – A. Martin

Getty Images
04
Spa At Home

“I say warm water in a roman tub, with some candles, scented sandalwood oil, jazz music, plenty of bubbles and very little lighting. You’ll be surprised how erotic it can be!” – Karen

Getty Images
05
Keep the Peace

“Keeping a peaceful and loving home. He is always king of his castle and the apple of my eye, so romance is always in the air.” – Charlie

Getty Images
06
Timing Is Everything

“Prepare your man’s favorite meal and if you can’t cook, have it delivered. The aroma of good food in a home naturally relaxes people. Timing is everything. Then, take a shower and spruce yourself up. Put on his suit jacket, sports coat or button down shirt and sexy heels. Make sure you have on a sexy thong, lace panties or boy shorts. (No bra!) Give him a call and say something like, ‘Hey baby, I was just thinking about you and wanted to know how long you’d be.’ Once you know, be ready. When he comes through the door, take his belongings and sit them to the side and tell him not to say a word.” – Kandi

Getty Images
07
Do Your Thing

“An all out striptease for my man drives him crazy! I light candles, turn on some good, slow R&B music and put on the heels and all.” – Kamillah

Getty Images
08
Be His Sexy Surprise

“Just me waiting for him in bed in between his favorite color of silk or satin sheets.” – Mary

Getty Images
09
Take It One Step At a Time

“I recommend a quiet dinner by candlelight with soft jazz playing to set the mood. Follow it up with a romantic convo with non-stop eye contact while you sip on nothing but the finest wine. Move on to the sofa and share back-to-back passionate kisses. Next and last, make your way to the master bedroom blindfolded.” – Beverley

Getty Images
10
Spice It Up (Literally)

“I’m all about spice, in the kitchen as well as the bedroom. I love to cook, so what I like to do is wear something super sexy, some heels, and an apron and let him watch me move around the kitchen fixing his favorite meal. It excites both of his appetites.” –Ayesha

Getty Images
11
Vacation Fun

“Vacation sex is always a super turn-on for us, especially when we go to ESSENCE Festival. Watching all those beautiful, sexy and powerful brown people all day leads to a hot and steamy night for us.” – Theresa

Getty Images
12
Fun and Games

“Date nights! Cook his favorite meal, have a picnic in the living room or a scavenger hunt.” – Jela

Getty Images
13
Bedtime Story

“We read erotic novels to each other. Using your imagination and getting ideas at the same time is hot!” – Aimee

Getty Images
14
Forget Your Undies

“The mood is set when we leave the house for dinner and my husband knows I’m not wearing any underwear under my dress. It drives him crazy!” – Robin

Getty Images
15
Go For the New and Unexpected

“Finding new places, hotels or cities, and wearing something unexpected when you get there.” – Debra

Getty Images
16
Be the Initiator

“I find confidence to be the best aphrodisiac ever. After a high-energy workday, when I’m feeling invincible, I just look into his eyes and have my way with him. He loves that I’m the initiator.” – Stephanie

Getty Images

Read More

Fashion
Kid Cudi Wears Off-White Dress By Virgil Abloh On SNL
Celebrity
'Baldwin Hills' Star Gerren Taylor Passes Away At 30
Money & Career
Meet Ebony Beckford, The Black Mom Who Created An Activity B...
Culture
Don Lemon On His New Book 'This Is The Fire' And Why He Does...
Red Carpet
Black Brits Look Absolutely Royal For The 2021 BAFTAs
COMPANY INFORMATION
  • Our Company
  • Customer Service
  • Essence Ventures
  • Change Your Address
  • Contact Us
  • Job Opportunities
  • Internships
  • Media Kit
  • tag
SUBSCRIBE
  • Newsletters
  • Give a Gift of ESSENCE
  • Magazine Tablet Edition
FOLLOW US
MORE ON ESSENCE
  • Home
  • Love
  • Celebrity
  • Beauty
  • Hair
  • Fashion
  • ESSENCE festival

ESSENCE.com is part of ESSENCE Communications, Inc.

Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.

©2021 ESSENCE Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Essence.com Advertising Terms

Get The ESSENCE Newsletter and
Special Offers delivered to your inbox

By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Get The ESSENCE Magazine
by subscribing below
subscribe now