Everything about Michelle Obama’s appearance on the Essence Festival Superdome stage on Saturday night gave us all the feelings—her glam, her candor and most importantly, her wisdom. Our favorite first lady dropped some major relationship gems in a fun and honest keynote conversation with CBS anchor Gayle King.
In addition to reeling us in with a hilarious story about her first date with former President Barack Obama, Mrs. Obama gave women some sage advice about maintaining a healthy marriage and marrying your equal.
“Marriage is a choice you make every day,” she explained. “You don’t do it because it’s easy. You do it because you believe in it. You believe in the other person.”
“And ladies and gentleman,” she continued, “that’s why it’s so important to marry somebody that you respect. It’s important to marry somebody who is your equal, and to marry and be with somebody who wants you to win as much as you want them to win.”
She drove the point home with a sports analogy, saying picking a partner is similar to picking players on a team.
“My husband is my teammate. If we are going to win this game together, he has to be strong and he has to be OK with me being strong. I do not want a weak player on my team, nor does he.”
Of course, Mrs. Obama had the perfect description of what we ought to stay clear of in dating.
You wouldn’t pick someone off the bench who is going to show up weak. You want to pick somebody who is going to carry you through.
“Be cautious of the man or woman who wants just the easy person. The person who’s not going to force them to grow, who’s not going to expect them to change, who’s not going to hold them accountable. You wouldn’t pick someone off the bench who is going to show up weak. You want to pick somebody who is going to carry you through. Those are the things that get you over the hard times.”
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