A little kink can go a long way.
The trick is if you like the dirty stuff, keep it to yourself. The minute you air your freaky laundry, any number of bad things can happen. Just look at Thursday’s episode of Scandal, titled “It’s Good To Be Kink.”
Sue (loquacious guest star Lena Dunham from Girls) threatened to release a tell-all book about her adventurous sex romps with 17 of Washington D.C.’s most powerful men. While the book gave her a sense of control, it also had the power to tear Abby’s world apart because she was romantically linked to two of the men in the book. (The kiss-and-tell also stood in the way of Huck and his happily ever after – but more on that later.)
So, Olivia took Abby on as a client and tried to scare some sense into Sue but that didn’t work. Instead, Sue verbally eviscerated Olivia and called her a prude.
“I thought you’d be brave,” Sue told Olivia. “I thought you’d be adventurous, fearless, sexy, confident. Instead, you’re just this dried-up prude who instead of celebrating the fact that I fully own my body and use it however I want, with whomever I want, as many times and as many kinky ways as I want, you’re shaking your finger at me.”
Dang. First Marcus, the neighborhood activist, told Olivia he wasn’t validating her black card a few weeks ago and then Sue called her a prude. Can folks stop verbally attacking Liv? This is getting messy.
In the end, Olivia figured out Sue’s secret. She’d been sexually harassed and wrongfully fired so Olivia made it right. She got it done. But the celebration would be short lived when Cyrus offered Olivia $3 million for the book.
Cyrus said he wanted to buy the book to save Abby and that was awfully considerate of him and fans thought so too.
Aawwww Cyrus DOES care about Abby. He found $3 million b/c he knows she is worth keeping and she does a GOOD job. #Scandal
— Awesomely Luvvie (@Luvvie) March 20, 2015
But in reality, Cyrus had good and bad intentions. If he had the book, he could blackmail some power players and that meant even more to him than saving Abby. Oh, Cyrus. At least this time, Olivia got to read someone instead of the other way around.
“This town,” Olivia scoffed. “Its heart.”
Olivia wasn’t the only one lamenting the nasty world of politics. When Leo questioned why she would need to resign from her job as the White House press secretary, Abby brilliantly explained that no natter how much she’d accomplished professionally, reporters still wrote about her love life and her physical appearance.
“What happens to you happens to me…do they write about your thighs?” – Abby on #Scandal – great monologue on sexism
— F. Quick (@quick13) March 20, 2015
I hope no one is writing about Leo’s thighs eww eww eww But 2 snaps for Abby’s breakdown #scandal
— Karintha Styles (@Reignof_Styles) March 20, 2015
Of course, the only life that mattered to Huck was the one he’d get to live with his wife and son if he got immunity so he killed Sue. Dude, he didn’t just kill her. He slit the woman’s throat. Not only was it gruesome but a little confounding. I mean, Olivia got the chick a new job and she helped her take down the man who had basically tried to rape her and ruin her career. Did Sue have to die? Well, that’s one way to ensure Dunham’s appearance was a one and done. Or is it?
But you know what’s not dead? Olivia’s libido. After having a horrifically painful PTSD flashback in the bathroom and fleeing the bar before she could hook up with a hot, chocolate stranger, she returned and sealed the deal a few nights later. Ahhh! Looking good, Brian White, uhm, we mean Russell. Looking good. Cue Aretha’s “Dr. Feelgood.”
When he took off his shirt and revealed them abs I was like….Fitz who? Jake who? LMAO #Scandal
— I AM A B613 AGENT (@CptKing30) March 20, 2015
What didn’t look, feel or sound good was Abby and Leo talking about butter in an erotic way. Ewwww! David’s “sexual vending machine” reference was equally gross but at least it was chuckle worthy.