When a long, fiery romance has ended, we have an abundance of ballads, sappy movies and even relationship podcasts to console us while we mend our broken heart. Thank goodness, because coping with the sadness of a romantic breakup is rough. We collectively show so much compassion, grace and empathy for someone who has recently experienced a split. We know the cut runs deep and the discomfort can last for weeks, months or even longer, regardless of who called the relationship quits. Matters of the heart ain’t for the weak.
But, when we experience a friendship breakup? There is rarely ever the same type of support given or expected. In fact, we rarely even discuss them. Why is one type of heartbreak virtually ignored, yet another type given so much attention and care?
In many cases, platonic same sex friendships last longer and are more solid than romantic ones. Imagine rocking with someone from the playpen to elementary school antics, first teen crushes, high school adventures and well beyond the college years. Your sister from another mister. You literally grew up together, have borrowed each other’s clothes, makeup, cars and can finish one other’s sentences. You share a slew of mutual friends. Her family feels like yours and vice versa. You thought you and your good sis were locked in for life. And then vamoose: You stop speaking. Or, maybe the friendship dissolves slowly. You talk and hang out less and less and then one day you realize you only know what is really happening in your former BFF’s life via social media and the before mentioned mutual friends (some of whom she met through you).
Bruh. It is a gut punch.
This type of painful friendship breakup recently played out before all of our eyes in the news. Global superstar Mary J. Blige and legendary celebrity fashion stylist Misa Hylton enjoyed a friendship that spanned three decades. Misa is widely credited for helping to shape the aesthetic of several chart-topping artists. She’s known for crafting Mary’s trademark image from those statement wide brim hats to her signature thigh high boots. Mary is the godmother of Misa and Sean Combs’ son, Justin Combs. The pair once shared a seemingly beautiful sisterhood and regularly supported each other’s professional projects and publicly displayed love for each other on social media. They even share the same Capricorn zodiac sign, having birthdays merely days apart.
Then in April 2025, Hylton shocked the world when she filed a $5 million lawsuit against Blige, alleging breach of contract and interference with her business relationship with rapper, Vado. Last week, a New York judge dismissed the case citing that Hylton failed to defend her claims. To witness this entire ordeal unfold publicly has been cringeworthy. Many of us said to ourselves, Can’t they just work it out? They were so close!
Of course we don’t know the details of their friendship dissolving, nor should we. Whether the catalyst for the duo “breaking up” was a man, money or something else, there are always three sides to a story (yours, mine and the truth). Still, their not-so ideal parting hit home. Maybe not the multi-million-dollar lawsuit aspect, but the sorrow of mourning a friendship that has run its course. When two people who were once in each other’s corner and had each other’s backs for decades can barely speak to one another, it is not easy to accept and can cause sadness, confusion, anger and resentment.
In the year of 2026 and beyond, can we finally stop acting as though the hurt of losing a close platonic friend is any less painful than that of a romantic partner?
We turned to therapist and mental health and wellness expert Venice Garner Moore of Embrace Your Difference, LLC. for answers to this burning question. Moore explains, “Since the beginning of time, romantic breakups were discussed with our girlfriends. [Those breakup conversations] are much more common because women were able to go to their safe space, which was usually a female friend, a mother figure or an auntie who may have gone through something similar. The gift of these deep quality friendship connections becomes a vault that cannot compare to a romantic relationship.”
Moore continues, “There is a sacred connection between Black women. There is peace in these bonds. She doesn’t have to explain herself; they just get each other. Sometimes the similarities are virtually endless, even including dramatic experiences. These are often called kindred spirit friends. The gift of these deep quality friendship connections becomes a vault that cannot compare to a romantic relationship.”
Moore offers that seeking professional counseling or therapy can prove helpful in navigating the wounds of losing a longtime friend, just as one would following a divorce. “It’s important to seek out extra support if you are grieving or feel crushed or abandoned in a friendship or any relationship. A trained professional may be able to allow you to see things from a different lens.” That different lens might include removing rose colored glasses and recognizing what once was is no longer what currently is. “I often tell my clients to sit with themselves and process internally when such treasured relationships come to an end. What did you learn and what patterns did you bring to this relationship or the ending of it? There were usually signs way before it actually ended.”
“In addition, some people hold on to friendships way too long because of their loyalty to the history of said friendship. People grow and people change. You may not be in sync anymore. When taking a look at the friendships in your life, ask yourself is this a relationship of substance or superficial value?” adds Moore.
As for Mary and Misa, who have both contributed so much creatively to our culture, we sincerely wish them both the best. We are rooting for them as individuals regardless of their friendship status. If they never decide to spin the block, we can always reminisce on the magic they created together.