After watching Taraji’s What Men Want, a lot of women have been left thinking… well, what exactly do they want?
While we’re still scratching our heads waiting on that answer, Devon Franklin joined the ladies of “Yes, Girl” to talk what we all want to know: the truth about men. Well, not exactly in the way you think, but his new book, The Truth About Men: What Men and Women Need to Know, gives us a glance into things that we may not have known.
The Truth About Men, which hit bookshelves February 5th, speaks out frankly and openly about why men behave the way they do and what we all — men and women — need to know about it.
But Franklin’s journey to the discovery of men what not first met with some self-analysis. “As I started researching in my own self, seeing: “here’s what I’m dealing with”, it made me look in the mirror, as a man, and say: “Okay, what is the work that I need to do?” he says. “And then: “How can I, without pointing the finger, but still holding men accountable, my brothers accountable, how can I write something that will help point the way?”
He believes there are certain behavior patterns which men need to move away from because otherwise they are led to act against their vows, their integrity and even their character.
“I believe the quality of our life comes down to how we manage our urges,” he shares. “And what do we have an urge to do, and what do we do about it?”
Make no mistake this is not a how-to-book for women. While Franklin hopes it helps the ladies to understand their partners better by gaining information they do not already know, he believes they are often on track. “The book is about the truth about men and men having to do the work, but the work also transcends love and relationships, which is a very good part of our daily existence,” he elaborates. “What other areas of work do you touch, that men have to do, in the book?”
Continues Franklin, “My argument is that you can tell something about a man from his public success but you can’t tell the whole story. The real success is personal success. Who is that man when he goes home? Who is that man when no one is watching? That, to me, is integrity. That’s character. We live in a culture that obsesses over public success. We tend to put so much energy and focus on what happens in the public, we do it at the expense of what’s happening with us personally.”
“And this also comes to women, too, because sometimes, in my experience, women will look at a man and they’ll see him, see his job or who he is in public, and say: “Oh wow!” And that public could even be the church! “Oh, he’s in the church. Oh my goodness, he’s amazing!” You don’t know anything about who that man really is. It’s very easy to put on a presentation to the public. What you gotta do is wait, so that the personal-person, the real person reveals himself.”
Don’t think that everything is picture perfect between Franklin and his actress-wife Meagan Good. It look lots and lots of work — in the form of prayer, therapy and conversation. Conversations that helped get them both on the same page. Franklin wants everyone to know, it’s nowhere near perfection, but the key ingredient has been effort.
“I personally put a lot of time and effort into saying: “How can I become a good husband and be a good husband to her?” he shares. “And she puts a lot of time into how to become and be a good wife to me. But now, sometimes my version of being a good husband, maybe my version, it may not always be the version she needs. And sometimes her version of being a good wife, maybe her version of what a good wife should be but isn’t always the version I need.”
Check out these and more highlights from the episode below.