In a new interview, mogul Oprah Winfrey is opening up about a dream that left her full of dread. Winfrey told People magazine that she never thought she’d live past the age of 56.

“I used to have this dream that I was going to be dead at 56, so the year that I turned 56 I was filled with dread,” she told the publication. “I had only told one other person that I had a number in my head when I was going to die, and that was Gayle [King, her best friend].”

“Gayle said, ‘What’s the number?’ I said, ‘I’m not going to tell you, because you will drive me crazy and then I will end up dead.'”

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Winfrey, who celebrated her 65th birthday earlier this year, said she was finally able to relax in 2011.

“When I got to 57, it was like, ‘Why did all my life I think it was going to be 56?’ At the time I started having this vision of 56, it was when I was in Milwaukee and I was trapped in a world where I could see how dire it was.”

Winfrey lived in Milwaukee throughout her childhood with her mother before moving to Nashville as a teen to live with her father. The TV magnate has long been open about her troubled childhood, which included

“Had I not gotten out of Milwaukee, nothing would have been the same,” he said. “I do believe I would have been dead at 56. I believe I would have been 437 lbs. I believe I would have had diabetes. I would have had high blood pressure. I would have suffocated knowing that things could have been different.”