As a child, I longed for adulthood like a marathon runner thirsts for water. For me, becoming an adult represented a time when I could finally do what I wanted without having to give others an explanation of my actions.
As a grown-up, I discovered that adults have to answer to people too. The biggest reality check came as I gradually realized how much my life suffered when I kept those who love me out of my business. I learned the hard way that accountability is for my own good.
As a coach, the entire premise of my relationships with my clients lies in their willingness to open up their lives and hearts to me on a weekly basis so that we can strategize their growth and development. Real accountability is about openness and transparency. I believe many people struggle with feeling isolated and alone simply because they don’t know how to let others in.
Here’s what we need to have accountability in relationships:
1. A Safe Place: People need to know they can trust us with their secrets and their shortcomings. Foundational to building accountability and openness is the need to simply prove ourselves worthy of being trusted. When we feel accepted, we step from behind the walls we often put up to protect ourselves. Sharing from the heart in transparency creates the type of human connection that enables us to grow and heal.
2. Commitment: Knowing people are committed to us gives emotional security that enables us to take risks! We have to commit to people on three levels. First to the person. People need to know our loyalty isn’t predicated upon their perfect performance. Secondly, we must be committed to their process. Every one of us has to go through a process in order to reach our full potential. The path and process differs for everyone. And sometimes we may not understand what it takes for another person to “get it.” Real commitment sometimes requires that we accept and respect others’ choices even though they may not be ones we would make. Finally, we must be committed to their purpose; by helping them express their full potential and pursuit of their passions.
3. Counsel: Accountability requires that we help others think better for themselves by asking the questions that will support self-discovery and clarity. It encourages reflection, rather than simply giving people the answers we think are best without evaluating the possible repercussions of our advice.
Lasting changes occur when we commit to opening up to others and doing life together. The only way to do that is to move from relationships of convenience to building relationships where we are challenged to be our best selves.
Do Your Work! Set a short-term goal you’ve wanted to achieve. Share it with someone and work with them to determine how they will hold you accountable to making it happen.
Define Your Wealth! Every day affirm, “I avail myself of the wisdom and support in my circle!”
Recently named the “North America’s Next Greatest Speaker” by eWomenNetwork, Coach Felicia is a Certified Executive Coach who empowers her clients to “Turn their Worth into Wealth” as she partners with them to DISCOVER their WORTH, DO their WORK and DEFINE their WEALTH. Get more insight, download the FREE “8 Choices Winners Must Make!” seminar MP3 at www.coachfelicia.com!