This reader thinks her man might be too hung up on her shoes.
Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives love, dating and self-esteem advice on networks from MTV to the BBC and all over the web through her hit web series AbiolaTV. Now she wants to help you keep things spicy and fresh between the sheets. Are you in need of an intimacy intervention? Just ask Abiola!
I think that my man has a foot fetish but he just won’t be honest about it. We have been together almost seven months and I am definitely in love with him.
Here’s the evidence:
- He is always staring at my feet.
- After I work out, he wants to take my funky gym socks to the “laundry” for me.
- Whenever we get dressed to go out, the first thing he asks me is what shoes I am going to wear.
- He offers me a foot massage “after a long day of work” without me even asking. Sometimes he looks like he is inhaling my feet.
- But when I ask if he has a foot fetish, he just starts laughing and says I am watching too many “Sex and the City” reruns.
A foot fetish really doesn’t bother me -- and his foot massages are amazing.
What should I do?
Footloose and Fancy Free
Dear Sacred Bombshell,
Reviewing your “evidence” I have to say, girl, your man totally has a foot fetish.
So why would he lie about it? I don’t think that he is lying. He may just not have put language to his turn-ons. Or if he is being untruthful, he may have cultural, ethical or religious stigmas attached to sexuality that keep him from being open and free.
Since you’re open to his foot love, go for it without the need to attach a title to it. You can be subtle about it and then get bolder when you see his level of comfort.
Take him shoe shopping with you. Text him photos when he asks what shoes you’re wearing. Call him from the pedi spot and ask what color nail polish he recommends.
Let him know that you’re into the foot massages and willingly hand over your funky workout socks with a wink.
He may be just looking for signs from you that you are cool with him sexually expressing himself in this way.
As far as relationship issues go, there is no problem here.
Have fun with your man and go for it. If you have a kinky interest you haven’t expressed, share it. The more comfortable you are with your sexuality, the more comfortable your partner will feel being himself.
P.S. Foot fetishists out there -- what can you recommend that FAFF does to stoke her man’s footy interests?
Leave it in the comments.
Abiola Abrams is the author of the award-winning Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love, Manifest Your Miracles meditation album and African Goddess Affirmation Cards. The popular lifestyle guru is also the founder of the Sacred Bombshell Self-Care Kits, blog, web TV show, and online academy at SacredBombshell.com. Follow her on Twitter to continue the discussion about this week's hot topic, and then email her your burning questions now. Anything you send will be posted anonymously, promise.