Let’s be real: the presence of technology is all up and through our everyday lives. Most of us have come to appreciate it for how it makes life easier. Platforms like ChatGPT act as a second brain to help us generate ideas for work, respond to emails in a more tactful manner, or create a budget. Devices can help organize our schedules, track our steps and monitor how we sleep. But it seems that at rapid speed, tech is also reshaping how we experience pleasure, so it was only a matter of time before it showed up in the bedroom too…and not just in the form of a basic dildo or vibrator. From remote-controlled vibrators to AI-powered companions, people are using advancements in technology not just to get off, but to reimagine what intimacy means altogether.
It’s a shift that might sound a little too futuristic for your taste, but it’s happening in real time. As sex tech evolves, are Black women open to exploring what “tech-enhanced intimacy” could look like in our lives—and bedrooms?
Sex Toys Are Freakier Than Ever
Believe it or not, the sex toy industry has gotten a little glow-up. Once upon a time, these gadgets were simple: add some batteries, press a button, and let your handheld companion (ideally, with the help of a partner) get you off. But gone are the days when sex toys were something that stayed buried in your nightstand drawer. These new devices are smarter, sleeker, often very discreet, and a lot more fun for two. Imagine a vibrator that syncs to a playlist, or one that reacts in real time when your partner changes the settings — even if they’re across the country. Now, many of the most popular devices on the market are designed to connect to apps, respond to voice commands, and even sync with a partner’s phone from anywhere on the map. This comes in handy for long-distance couples, who often have to get creative to keep things spicy when they’re miles apart.
Think of a vibrator that connects to an app so your partner can control its intensity from miles away, or a toy that syncs to music for a more dynamic experience. Instead of viewing technology as a distraction from intimacy, couples are using it to their advantage; some are experimenting with Bluetooth-enabled toys during video calls, and others are taking foreplay to another level with wearables that discreetly buzz during date night. I’m personally a big fan of the We Vibe Chorus, which comes with a squeezable remote that gives your partner control of your climax in person, but it also has a custom app for long-distance play.
But here’s the thing: this tech isn’t just for couples. Solo pleasure is evolving, too. Many devices now utilize AI to learn about your preferences and adjust their rhythm or intensity accordingly. For example, the Kuirkish g-spot vibrator is built with an AI-powered C9 chip inside and enhances your pleasure by syncing the device with your favorite adult videos. While viewing, you can actually feel the vibrations match the action on screen, leading to a mind-blowing climax.
A Different Digital Connection
For couples looking to keep the spark alive, technology helps maintain passion during long periods apart.
Ashley, 32, lives in Silver Spring, Maryland, while her husband Corey, 34, is deployed overseas. “To not be able to kiss and cuddle with my husband on a daily basis is hard, but it’s something that we discussed and planned for. And in the long run, I believe it will strengthen our intimacy and connection as a whole,” she says. Ashley has been living apart from her husband for the past seven months. “My husband and I use a remote-controlled toy during video chats, and it makes us feel like we’re sharing something real even when we’re apart. It’s playful, it’s sexy, and it’s something to look forward to.”
The fact that there’s much more than the age-old phone sex to fall back on for couples looking to heat up their sex lives now is because of how far technology has come. Rather than eliminating the human connection, these devices present an opportunity to bond over something new and experiment together. And even if you’re dating locally or living with your partner, tech can still spice things up, allowing you to explore fantasies you’ve never talked about before, or heighten orgasms with the help of a rechargeable little friend.
AI Companionship Is Booming
Years ago, I remember watching Her, a 2013 science-fiction film about a man (Joaquin Phoenix) who falls in love with his operating system (a Siri of sorts) named Samantha (voiced by Scarlett Johansson). Back then, I couldn’t fathom the idea of falling in love with a robot, or even wanting to engage in conversation with one beyond asking about the weather. Fast forward to 2025, and technology has brought the film’s theme to life.
Sex tech isn’t just about using futuristic toys to climax—it’s about companionship. And in the midst of a loneliness epidemic, the idea of artificial intimacy might not feel so odd to some.
AI apps like Replika or Blush offer AI “partners” who you can engage in conversation with, learn from, and ones who can help you craft witty responses to a flirty text. AI-enabled apps like Winggg provide prompts for first-date small talk, intros to shoot your shot on dating apps, and even breakup texts.
I know, I know…the idea of speaking intimately to a bot sounds wild, but hear me out: for a lot of folks (especially single Black women fatigued by dating apps, ghosting, and situationships), AI companions can be a safe, judgment-free space to explore desires or build confidence before you jump back into the murky dating waters. Again, technology doesn’t have to replace real intimacy, but it can be a way to understand yourself better, practice the art of vulnerability, and improve how you date IRL.
Staying Safe as Tech and Sex Collide
Of course, as fun as it may be to have these tech-enhanced toys and AI platforms at our disposal, safety is always the number one concern. Devices that are WiFi-enabled and have accompanying apps often transmit sensitive data, so choose the brands you buy wisely. You’ll want to look for toys that have airtight security measures built in, and of course, set strong passwords. Protect your pleasure the same way you’d protect the password to your banking app.
It’s also important to balance tech with actual human connection. If you find that these gadgets are becoming your only way to feel pleasure or connect, it might be time to take a step back. These tools are meant to heighten intimacy, not serve as a full-time replacement for real human connection.
Finally, if you’re bringing a new device into the bedroom, it’s important to discuss that with your partner beforehand. Set boundaries about what each of you are comfortable with, and what you’re not, to avoid a record-scratch moment right in the middle of doing the do. Be clear about what excites you and look for tech that can enhance that experience in the bedroom. Consent and comfort are always comes first, device or not.
Whether you tech play as a fun experiment, a way to deepen your connection, or to have a new tool in your self-love toolkit, one thing’s for sure: tech has found a new way to add ease to our lives, and satisfaction to our sexual experiences.