Real Women Reveal Why They’re Saying No to Sex

More and more women are choosing to put sex on hold in favor of self-love, and because of it, they’re more confident than ever. Read their testimonies! (Women in photographs are models, not the women quoted.)

Charli Penn Mar, 07, 2016

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It’s true: Sex can, and often does, complicate things. More and more of our readers are speaking out about holding on to their v-cards and choosing to embark on periods of abstinence or celibacy until marriage. Yes, they’re putting sex on the back burner to focus on other things — like themselves. Although their reasons vary, one sentiment remains the same — it’s not about what a fella wants; it’s all about what a girl wants. We asked our Facebook fans why they’re saying no to sex. Read 16 inspiring testimonies and get inspired now!

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“I’m celibate because I’m trying to have a closer relationship with God and His will for my life. I believe I am too valuable to give my body and the best years of my life to anyone who is not planning to commit to me. So until I meet my husband, it's locked, and the key is thrown away.” First Lady Washington

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“I choose to wait because I want to do what the Bible says and not what the world says. I want to save my body for my husband and not be worn out by the time I get married.” —Valencia

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“I’m choosing to be celibate until marriage. You have to demand respect for a real man to take you seriously. Any joker can feed you a dream. I have faith there are great men out there, but being celibate weeds out the bad ones. Besides, your body is a temple. I wish I could tell a lot of girls that sex before marriage is not the way.” —Jazz

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“I’m six years celibate. Anybody can have sex; I want to make love. I promised God and myself that I would remain celibate until I was in love and married. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m holding on strong.” Krisha

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“I’m celibate because I’ve kissed too many frogs, and now I’m going to wait to meet my prince.” – Brevard

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“After allowing myself to be hurt by men numerous times, I decided to become celibate. It actually feels good. I am able to identify my needs and to focus on myself instead of other people’s perception of me. I am able to have a better relationship and connection with God. At first, it was challenging, but now I am loving me a whole lot more!” —Krystal

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“I’m celibate because I’m rebuilding my relationship with God, and I was tired of men taking advantage of a gift intended for my husband. Too many people are being careless in their sexual lives. I love myself and want to live worry free.” —Amy

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“I am celibate because I love the Lord with all my heart. I just want to be the woman of God that he has called on me to be.” —Gic Gic

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 “Celibacy and abstinence test your ability to be patient with yourself and to control impulse desires. Being able to sustain from something that just about every human being desires, like sex, is the ultimate test of mental strength. It's so easy to give in to sex because it's everywhere, and to not choose to indulge until you are ready takes a lot of patience and focus. Sex is not everything, and as you mature and grow into yourself, it does not become your number one priority anymore. Finding peace within myself has become a necessity, and I am still searching for it.” —Chana

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“I am waiting to have sex until I meet my husband. I did my it way, and it didn’t work. Now, I'm going to do it the Lord’s way.”—Moni

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“I'm abstinent for the moment. I’m just not interested in anyone right now. I’m learning how to please myself, and I'm doing a damn good job.” —Desiree

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“I have been with my boyfriend for seven years now, and we decided to abstain from sex until we are married. We are both Christians and believe the best place for sex is within a married relationship. We are now engaged and planning to get married this May. We know the wait will be worth it, and I feel so special that I will be his one and only and he will be mine. Love, marriage and sex are sacred things and not to be taken lightly.” —Rebecca

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“I’ve been celibate for the better part of three years now. I love God, but I have also learned to love myself. There are too many diseases out there for people not to take sex seriously. I haven't had an orgasm yet that was worth dying for.” —Betsy

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“I'm in the V-Club, and I am a proud member! I have something that is so precious, and I plan to keep it that way until I get married. Life is much more simple for me than I think it is for others who are no longer in the club. I am so busy with school, hobbies and being a good daughter to the Lord that I don't even have time for those types of complications. I feel like a gem.” —Mayen

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“I’m now abstinent. I’ve learned by practicing abstinence then falling back into lust, making the same mistakes of sex before marriage just to find out that it was only a temporary pleasure with no love. I’m now abstinent once again and have been since 2012. It feels really good, and I feel strongly about it. With faith and overwhelming love in my heart, I’m prayerful to soon be married.” —Linda

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“I’m a virgin. I made a promise to myself and to God that I would wait until marriage for the man God ordained me to be with. I want to make sure that that man is going to be there for me emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically for more than a few hours, days, weeks or months. Plus, leaving sex out of the picture helps me focus on the other great attributes of the man I'm interested in and vice versa.” —Alexzandria