Outside of communication, the ability to resolve problems is the second most important part of marriage. Having the same values allows for better understanding when working on the big issues — such as how to raise the children.
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Marriage Is Not Always 50/50
Sometimes you have to put in the majority of what’s needed in the relationship. Other times, your partner will put in more. This is called teamwork. And it takes teamwork to make the dream work.
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Attraction Typically Grows
Don’t worry if you will continue being attracted to your partner 5, 10, or 15 years in the future. According to a recent study I read about couples married for 30 years, most reported being more attracted to their spouse now than at the time of their wedding. (No wonder that Viagra is seeing explosive growth in their 55-65 year old age bracket.)
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Your Marriage Isn't Safe from Gossip
Ninety-nine percent of the people you know will gossip about your marriage. Keep your personal business between you and your spouse and that gossip will have zero impact.
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Don't Make Comparisons
It’s very destructive and dangerous to compare your spouse to other people (or worse, celebrities and public figures). Don’t do it, ever.
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Marriage Isn't a Finish Line
I’ll never forget someone telling me (just days before my wedding), “man, you’re getting ready to check out, you’re reaching the finish line.” He couldn’t have been further from the truth. Marriage is the start of another incredible journey in life, not an ending to your happy story.
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Good Communication Is Part of Your Foundation
All relationships (romantic and platonic) live and die based on the strength of communication. This is one area that should be honed prior to marriage.
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Sex With Just One Person Is Not A Death Sentence
According to numerous national sex surveys, both married men and women report having higher satisfaction and more frequent sex than singles.
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Focus On Height Rather than Length
When I tell people I’ve been married for 10 years, I get all kinds of congratulations but I’m never asked about the quality of those years. Society is obsessed with “how long” we do certain things. It is more important to focus on soaring as high as possible together.
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Complacency Is Not Your Friend
Straying emotionally or physically from a relationship typically happens when one partner becomes complacent. Keeping your marriage fresh and exciting should be your motto.
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The In-Laws Are Not the Enemy
Marriage is not simply the joining of two people, it’s the merger of two families and legacies. Treat it as such.
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A Great Marriage Isn't Conflict Free
If someone tells you they never argue with their spouse, send them back to the insane asylum. Real couples fight. Great couples fight fair.
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Kids Are Serious Business
Despite what R&B tells us, becoming parents isn’t as simple as “let’s go half on a baby.” Bringing a child into a marriage will test every strand of your relationship. Be sure your marriage is strong, before even thinking about a baby.
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Let Me Know Your Thoughts
Have questions or comments? I want to hear about it. You can find me on Twitter or Facebook any time.
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