12 Ways to Have An Instantly Sexier Summer

12 Ways to Have An Instantly Sexy Summer
ESSENCE.COM May, 24, 2012

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Yes, dolls. We’re starting the list off like that. What’s going on under that fab maxi dress? Are you wearing granny panties? Whether you’re a recent grad or a Gram, you will move differently in the world if you don a pair of red skivvies that make you feel sexy. Boy shorts, thongs or vintage lace. Side benefit: Red is the color that most magnetically attracts men.

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While everyone is going on about “50 Shades of Grey,” why not get off the page and experiment in your own love life? The next time a meaningless argument breaks out, hand him his tie and say, “Well, I guess that you need to punish me, then.” You won’t remember what you were fighting about.

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Have you ever considered writing a sexy short story for your beloved? Be as graphic as you wish. Feel free to express yourself. Don’t worry about grammar or plot lines. Just share the passion with the two of you starring as the main characters.

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Kissing is one of the first things to go in a romantic relationship. Remember how exciting it was the first time you felt your lover’s lips on yours? Your summer assignment is three minutes of kissing a day. You’ll be making a serious deposit in your relationship intimacy bank.

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When it’s hot outside you need a cool down. Bring ice to the bedroom or bring your bedroom antics to the ice. Pass a melting ice cube back and forth between your mouths. Now, see where else you can put it.

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Whether it’s a beach or a garden, find a private place in nature to enjoy each other! There’s nothing like the wind and the elements adding to the heat of your sexy encounter.

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If you’re single, the most sexy thing you can do is reconnect with your own body. Take a dance class. Find a studio that offers burlesque or pole dancing. Or just get a hula hoop and rotate those hips. You free your sexual self when you wake up your Sacral Chakra. That’s your booty, hip area and lady parts.

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Try “something new.” Step outside of your dating box. If you keep dating the same dude in different kicks you’ll keep getting the same results. There are online dating sites for foodies, smart people and even those into The Secret.

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Grab your dude and take a class together. A tango or salsa dancing class can be incredibly hot. Maybe you take a joint cooking class. Learn spicy Thai or Italian recipes then go home and steam up your kitchen.

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No, that’s not necessarily a contradiction. Make this the summer you explore the erotic. Read the Kama Sutra or learn about tantric lovemaking. Sexual energy is the creative energy of the universe.

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I wouldn’t be your official Lifestyle Passionista if I didn’t tell you to handle your business, pun intended. There are sexy toys by women for women, on the market. Of course there’s the discrete Bedroom Kandi lipstick vibe from Kandi Burruss. You may also enjoy the new and unique LadyHug vibrator designed for maximum orgasmic heights.

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Sometimes we don’t have enough time in the day. Multi-task with 30 days of joint showers. Every morning, for a month, get clean together. Your days will have a new energy.

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Abiola Abrams is an in-demand love, sex, dating and relationship columnist, coach and speaker. Find her award-winning blog and web TV show at AbiolaTV.com. Watch her give lifestyle advice on shows like the CW’s Bill Cunningham Show. She is the author of the upcoming Official Bombshell Handbook.