Log on to the internet any day of the week and you’re likely to find groups of Black people, from all corners of the diaspora, engaging in what I like to call the Cleanliness Olympics. It’s Black folk arguing about the proper ways to clean your children, your home, your body. In all of the conversations I’ve read over the years, it seems these athletes have yet to take on the most important cleanliness of all: Spiritual Hygiene.
Thankfully, spiritual teacher, life coach, television personality, and 17-time author Iyanla Vanzant has written a book about it: SPIRITUAL HYGIENE: A Practical Path for Clean Living, Inner Authority, and Divine Freedom. Vanzant, known for her accessible, often no-nonsense form of wisdom, describes spiritual hygiene as the daily practice of clearing your inner space so you can honor your thoughts, emotions, energy, and soul.
It sounds like an ideal existence. But in a world that is actively and effectively doing its best to keep us despondent, depressed, and disconnected, keeping our spirits clean is easier said than done. For those who may feel threatened by the enormity of the task, Vanzant offers these words of encouragement at the beginning of the text: “You cannot fail at healing. Healing is not arriving, it is a rhythm you live within.”
More than just an instruction manual for readers, Vanzant details the rhythms of healing she’s flowed in and out of throughout her life. She does so by introducing readers to the versions of herself who existed before she became the woman we see today. First, there was Ronnie, the little girl who learned to dim her light because she was too much for the elders around her. Then there was Rhonda, the young woman attempting to heal from the aftermath of an abusive marriage. In the most compelling parts of the book, Vanzant writes candidly about herself as a mother frantically trying to save her youngest daughter Nisa from self-destructive patterns. Having already lost her daughter Gemmia, Vanzant recalls calling a friend, asking hysterically why God would ask her to bury another child.
Eventually, Vanzant comes to the realization that she saw the unhealed parts of herself in Nisa. Vanzant was able to admit that in her quest to be seen as a good mother, she offered Nisa correction instead of acceptance.
In one heartbreaking passage, Vanzant writes, “Until the day she took her last breath, Nisa did not believe she was safe with me.”
Our society holds a very narrow image of healing. It looks like serenity, peace with a date of completion. Rarely do we mention the often painful excavation true healing requires. In Spiritual Hygiene, Vanzant acknowledges that pain offers hope for those who yearn to do the work but may be concerned about what they will discover on the other side.
“The truth that I had hurt my child did not destroy me,” she writes. “It delivered me. It lifted the veil of emotional dishonesty that I had unknowingly placed between my heart and hers.”
In Spiritual Hygiene, Vanzant is clear about the cost of neglecting your spiritual cleanliness. If you struggle with mental and emotional clutter, it might manifest as overthinking and overanalyzing, and as preparing for worst-case scenarios. She explains how a cluttered mind affects our emotions, which spreads to our actions and eventually our experiences. If you really sit with the list, you’re likely to find the places in your life that need tidying.
For those who are intent on doing the work, Spiritual Hygiene could be and should be read slowly and repeatedly to determine which aspects of your spirit have been neglected and what you can do to nourish them. The book doesn’t just outline problems; it offers a path toward a cleaner inner life. If you’re struggling with emotional suppression, Vanzant advises daily heart check-ins where you ask yourself, “What are you feeling, Beloved?” Instead of trying to edit the answer to something palatable or manageable, Vanzant warns not to judge but just listen and be present with what comes up.
The nightmare of any mother is wrestling with the prospect of losing your child. If you’re anything like me, you may have wondered how Vanzant shouldered that reality not once but twice. While she has spoken publicly about the loss of her daughters, in Spiritual Hygiene, she shares details around the events and how she continues to navigate the presence of grief in her life.
She explains clearly why so many of us fear the process of grieving. We believe it will overwhelm us, she writes. “We carry inherited beliefs that emotion is weakness,” Vanzant continues. “We don’t know how to hold space for pain without trying to fix it.” Rather than trying to change or end grief, she suggests we start viewing grieving as a sacred act. She shares that the process may terrify the ego, but it liberates the soul.
The end of Spiritual Hygiene reads like the beginning, with a reminder that healing is not something new to be discovered but rather something old, ancient and divine to be remembered. Vanzant’s work in this book is an invitation–with guides–to discard the distractions of this life: competition, aggression, and external validation. In doing so, we return to the truth of ourselves: our thoughts, emotions, our power, awareness, and spiritual integrity. It’s arduous work, but Spiritual Hygiene reminds us that it doesn’t have to be scary and with earnest and intention, we cannot fail.