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How to Stop Making These 6 Excuses for Not Having Sex

An expert shuts down your biggest excuses, and offers you sexy solutions instead.

Sex Excuses

By Abiola Abrams · July 14, 2017

Women, we are magical creatures. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. We posses the only body part created strictly for pleasure. This means that you are worthy and deserving of having a sex life that is loving, engaged and fun! Plus, there are health benefits to a healthy sex life. These range from exercise benefits like burning calories to waking up your happy hormones like endorphins. So why are we making time for everyone else’s joy but our own? Let’s talk about why and how you should get your own personal party started.

Having a headache is the oldest excuse in the book. If you have a very real chronic medical concern then see your physician. If you are on medications that are affecting your libido, you should also have an open and honest conversation with your healthcare practitioner. Are mental health concerns like anxiety and depression the true reason behind the excuse? If so, then be sure to speak to your doctor. You don’t have to remain stuck in the same deprivation cycle. You deserve to feel happy.

JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images

Many women feel bored at having the same old sex, year after year, with the same old person. No matter how much you love someone, routines can get stale. Switch it up! There is a wild and wonderful world of sexual exploration out there -- waiting for you to discover it. If you always have sex at night in the dark, try daytime sex. Explore the sensuality of opening your sacral chakra, the center of pleasure and emotions in ancient Kundalini mysticism. Visit a women owned sex shop live Babeland online with your partner -- or by yourself for something sassy. Introduce daring new lingerie to your repertoire. At the very least, switch up your positions. If you try something and you don’t like it, that’s fine! Explore, explore, explore.

Kimberly Sue Walker

Sure, we hear you. We all could use a bit more sleep. We are all on twenty-five hours a day, eight days a week, with beeping devices, work, kids, and stress. Here’s great news from the folks at Sleep.org, regular sex helps to improve your sleep. Can you believe that? Yes, sex helps you sleep. Not only does sex help you to fall asleep easier, but for women it also boosts our estrogen levels which will enhance our REM sleep. Then, as the juicy cycle continues, the more rested you are the more your sex life can improve. Win-win!


Between social media photo-shopping and tabloid TV plastic surgery beauties, many women feel shame at not looking like runway models. Whatever you look like, you are beautiful, sexy and perfect. Your body is yours. Self-love begins with self-acceptance. Look in the mirror and feel appreciation for every curve or lack thereof. It doesn’t serve you to compare yourself to models, reality queens, or the next door neighbor. If your heart is beating, you deserve pleasure. You are worthy and deserving of happiness.


If you are a mom, you are one of the hardest working people on the planet. Toys and school and playdates, oh my! It makes sense that your pleasure would take back burner. Here’s the deal, a mom who loves herself will raise self-loving children. Think of your adult sexy time as good self-care. If life is overwhelming and stressing you out, good sex can be the ultimate de-stressor. Go for it! So what’s our big sexy takeaway? No more excuses! A happy, healthy and positive sex life is your birthright. Stop holding yourself apart from your pleasure and joy.

America’s Self-Worth Guru Abiola Abrams is the award-winning author of The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self Love and creator of the African Goddess Affirmation Cards. Download her Chakras on Fleek meditation album from ChakrasOnFleek.com with the free code: LIFELOVESME.


We are all busier than ever. This is true. But we don’t miraculously have the time for anything. We have to make the time for the things that are important to us. Put your sex life on your to do list. Each session doesn’t have to be a 90-minute rager. Grab quickies in the laundry room if you have to. Add self-pleasure to your shower routine. Making time for your intimate life is an act of self-care.