Sometimes it's not stuff that bogs us down, but the expectations of others.

Wendy L. Wilson
Dec, 03, 2015

Sometimes it’s not stuff that bogs us down, but the expectations of others. In her new book, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have With People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do (Little, Brown and Company), Sarah Knight explains how to live with no apologies.

DEFINE YOUR HAPPY PLACE.

I really loved my big corporate job in New York City until one day I didn’t. My husband and I started working on building a house in the Dominican Republic. I realized that if I saved $27.40 a day, I would have $10,000 in a year. So I cut back on cabs, takeout and other expenses to create a financial cushion. I quit a year later. Being happy is a choice we can plan.

MAKE A LIST; STRIKE IT TWICE.

Write down all the things that demand your time, energy and money when it comes to work, family and friends. Ask yourself, What really annoys me? When you find it, cross it off and eliminate it from your life.

MIND YOUR MESSAGES.

So many people are vying for our attention with social media and technology. Don’t feel pressured to always reply. And the “unfollow” option on Face-book is magic. You never have to read posts from people who annoy you without having to unfriend them.

BUDGET YOUR TIME.

Treat it like a wallet. Once you’ve booked three social functions for the month, decline others to avoid the overdraft fee of being drained. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to please others. Unlike money, you can’t earn time back.

This feature was originally published in the January 2016 issue of ESSENCE.

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