Good men can come to those who wait.
Love songs really messed me up! I grew up listening to Whitney, Anita, Luther and even Celine. It was a time when the love in music talked about fairy tale beginnings and endings. True, there were some sad songs in the mix too, but the hope that was found in the music made me a hopeless romantic. For this reason, I’ve always believed in (and have experienced) the idyllic concept of love at first sight.
I was on the phone with one of my closest sister-friends who had been single for a little over three years. From the moment we got on the phone, I could hear the excitement in her voice. After we finished the initial small talk about work and life, I had to ask, “What has you so happy?” She giggled through the telephone, which was odd because this sister-friend is not the giggly type.
“I met a guy and I think he’s the one,” she said reluctantly. I then asked when they’d met, and again, with some hesitation she replied, “Two weeks ago. I know it sounds silly, but there’s something about him that is just right. We instantly clicked and have been inseparable ever since. I think I’m in love.”
As much as I wasn’t expecting that, I could hear that she was serious. And, like I said, this was one of my more serious sister-friends who always means what she says. “Well, I don’t think it’s silly, “ I said. “It’s quite possible. It’s happened to me before and I ended up in an eight-year relationship.”
“I know, but it’s a bit confusing,” she said. She was very concerned that it was just the excitement of meeting someone who had all of her boxes checked on her “Love To Do List” (she reads my column faithfully). But, then again, as she spoke more about it, the connection seemed far more spiritual and esoteric than a laundry list of attributes. According to her, it felt as if she’d known him for many years and as if he’d been waiting for her all his life. And, she for him.
The hopeless romantic in me kicked in, and my heart couldn’t help but to warm. Rihanna’s current hit, “Where Have You Been” is far less romantic, but hits the nail on the head. My sister-friend had met the guy she’d been looking for all her life. Isn’t that what we all dream of and hope for in love? Yes, we can confuse some other feelings (like lust!) for love, but with my sister-friend, I don’t think this is the case. She is a very cautious person and is extremely self-aware.
To ease her concern/fear, I ran down all of my friends who had experienced the wonderful phenomenon of love at first sight. Coincidentally, most of the friends I know that this has happened to are still in loving, successful relationships with their partners. The ones that aren’t had long lasting relationships that ended and developed into fantastic friendships, like mine. The best advice I could give her was to live in the moment and enjoy herself. Truly, it is all we can do in any situation; love or life.
We’ve all become so cynical and cautious about something as complexly wonderful as love. Some of it’s justified, but I like to believe in those songs that I grew up listening to as younger person. I was happy I could encourage my friend, having experienced and seen it for myself, which is why I completely believe in love at first sight.
Wishing you love and ceaseless joy! Follow @NathanHWilliams on Twitter.
Nathan’s book INSPIRATION: Profiles of Black Women Changing Our World is available now.