You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dr. Sherry,
I’ve been with the father of my twins for four years and I know he is cheating on me. I have the password to unlock his phone and I’ve seen text messages from other women from dating sites. I even got into his Facebook account and saw that he was messaging other women. Then, I checked his
Voicemail and I heard a message from another woman. One day, we got into a fight and he told me that he’d only been with me for the last four years because of our twins. I honestly don’t think he loves me at all; he doesn’t even know I found out all of this stuff.
I even set up a fake profile and he responded to and said he was single. When he used to talk about me to other people at a class he would call me his “baby mother,” not “girlfriend.” Over Facebook, he asked a woman in the class if he can gown down on her. Now, again, he doesn’t know I know all of this. I broke up with him and told him he was free to sleep with whomever, but now he keeps trying to sleep with me! He also denies cheating altogether. What do I do with this liar?
Signed,
Anonymous
Dear Sis,
I don’t know if you have a job or not, but you would make a great private investigator! If you have to track the behavior of someone you love, you must question the relationship altogether. Now that you have conducted a comprehensive investigation, you know the real deal. How much more do you need to know? If he denies cheating on you or not, you already know the truth. He clearly views you as his babies’ mama and an easy booty call and nothing more.
The problem is really not with him; it’s with you. Why do you want someone who does not want you? You are worth much more than he is offering. Once you believe that, you will be able to let go and move on. Until then, you will continue to accept his behaviors and be available for hi booty calls. You will be royally disappointed and forever angry if you think you will get anything more from this man. Having some man’s baby does not give you any special privileges and legit titles. If he does not even consider you his girlfriend, do not expect him to respect you enough to be honest or not to have other women. You must decide what you want in a relationship and how you want to be treated. Others will only treat you according to how you respect and treat yourself. You have done an excellent job as a private investigator here, and now the case is closed. – Dr. Sherry
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