You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
Dear Dr. Sherry,
I'm in a difficult situation in my relationship. I'm dating a woman who is 10 years older than me. I'm 24 and she's 34 and has a son. Our relationship has been a roller coaster ride and by that I mean everything would be good for a week and then suddenly she wants to end it. I asked her why and she always tells me that I'm younger or that if she really loves me she would've introduced me to her family. I'm 24, graduated as a Medical Technologist going for my Respiratory Therapist degree so I'm not just a normal 24 who parties and gets drunk. I want to meet her family but she says that they won't take me seriously cause of my age. My parents know that she's older and has a child but all they say is "if you're happy, then that's what matters." When things are going good, she mentions how much she loves me, we talk about our future and moving in together. I also mention that once I graduate I'm going to propose to her. The only thing that puts a stop in our relationship is her playing the age card against me saying that she doesn't really love me since she doesn't want me to meet her family. Please I need your advice. I'm really saddened about my situation.
I Need Help
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Hey there sir,
You have fallen in love with a 34 year old child. Although your girlfriend may be chronologically older than you by 10 years, she appears emotionally younger and immature. Some people say that age is only a number. While that may be true, it is a very important number when it controls your relationship and decisions. Your relationship is like a "roller coaster" ride because your girlfriend is not sure she wants to get off or continue the ride. She may have fun with you and even view you as her "boy toy" but fear having a long term relationship with you. This really is not about you. It is about her uncertainty and how her family and others will respond to your age difference. It is easy to understand her uncertainty if you consider the fact that she has a child and may depend on her family for support. Their approval is important to her and she is not willing to risk losing their support. That may be the reason she has not introduced you to her family. She may indeed love you but may not be in love with you. She also may not trust that you will be there for her over time given your age difference. Regardless of her issues, you deserve to be happy. I suggest that you seek couples therapy to discuss and process the issues that interfere with the relationship. If she is unwilling to attend, you can only accept where she is emotionally and move on. She has already told and shown you who she is in regards to your relationship. You must believe her! Dr Sherry —Dr. Sherry
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