Would you walk into a church and tell the preacher you don’t believe in God? No. Why single women who are anti-marriage think married people want to hear about why they think wedding vows are just bologna and true love and happily ever after are only for fairytales is beyond me. Just so we’re clear, we don’t. Save it for someone’s talk show.
9. "Girl, you let yourself go."
Whether she’s battling baby weight, depression, or just enjoying lots of home-cooked meals with her man, a married woman’s post-wedding weight gain should never be a topic for casual discussion unless she brings it up. It’s honestly quite baffling how comfortable some women feel insulting the women in their family and friends this way. Come on ladies, please think before you speak.
8. "How did you get him to marry you?"
I traveled to a far and distant land and bought a special potion from a love guru living in a little shack. No, not really. But with a question that silly, you should expect an even sillier answer to follow. In all seriousness, finding a good man who loves you for you isn’t a magic trick or an act of witchcraft, and quite honestly, most married women resent the implication.
7. "Ask your husband what he thinks I should do."
Like clockwork, when one of my girlfriends is having man trouble, she immediately wants to get mine involved. He can’t win this one, ladies. If he takes her side, he’ll feel like a traitor to all men, and if he takes her guy’s side, my girlfriend immediately labels him a jerk, too. This is when things really start to get weird between you. See where this is going? Danger up ahead! What do you say we just leave him out of it altogether, okay?
6. "All men cheat!"
First off, no, not all men are dogs, so please keep that negativity to yourself. Just because you know men who’ve cheated, that doesn’t mean mine will. Imagine how a single woman who’s looking for love would feel if a married woman walked over and casually told her, “No man ever really wants to get married.” It’s a rude, hurtful, and discouraging thought we’d prefer you didn’t share.
5. "When are you two going to have a baby?"
If I had a dollar for every time someone badgered my husband and I about having a kid, we could actually afford one. Motherhood is a beautiful thing, when you’re ready, but it should never be rushed or forced. Especially when finances are your primary hold up. Unless you’re planning to chip in for formula and diapers, hush up.
4. "We didn't think you'd want to come, since you're married and all now."
Married women like to let loose too – heck we probably need a drink more than some single ladies do. When you’re married and you find out your single girlfriends had a great night out, and conveniently left you behind, it hurts. Not including us because we’re married is just plain lame, and you know it. It’s almost as bad as saying, “We didn’t think you’d want to go out and have fun because you’re a mom now.” Sounds awful when you put it that way, right? Thought so.
3. "It's not a couple's thing is it?"
Why is that singles must always assume that any time a married couple invites them out it’s going to be a couples-only PDA fest? Maybe we just want to enjoy your company, have a good laugh, and do what everyone else does when they’re at a social gathering — have fun. No, it’s not a couple thing; It’s a friendship thing.
2. "Does your husband have any single friends, like him?"
Here comes trouble. It’s not that we married folk aren’t usually down for playing cupid, but rather that hooking up friends is always more complicated than it sounds. If no one immediately comes to mind, I find myself mentally searching through my husband’s crew looking for a connection that isn’t really there. And if I force it, let’s face it… you might end up somehow blaming me if things go wrong.
1. "You're married, so you wouldn't understand!"
We’re married, not amnesiacs! Do you honestly think that a married woman has no memory of heartbreak or a bad date? Please. Wearing a wedding band doesn’t cut off the circulation to your heart. If you trust me with your problems, why can’t you respect me enough to let me say my piece?