Last year, I had a powerful fireside breathwork session with my Breathwork Coach Kathleen Booker. Kathleen is one of my healing sisters. All good coaches have good coaches. After a moving group session, Kathleen pulled me to the side and proclaimed, “Beloved, your heart chakra is completely blocked!”
Blocked? Me? Love advice columnist, self-worth coach, self-worth and transformational speaker? Yup. We are all human. It happens. I had to release a myriad of repressed emotions in order to let love in.
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So what is the heart chakra or “love chakra,” and how does it get blocked? More importantly, how do we unblock it and activate it for love? Chakras are energy arteries running throughout our bodies. Although we have countless chakras, traditionally we work with the seven main chakras. These chakras represent different areas of our minds, bodies, and spirit. When our chakras are blocked our lives are unbalanced.
The heart chakra is the fourth chakra, and appropriately represents love. You know that your heart chakra is blocked for love if you are holding grudges, feel unfulfilled, unable to trust, co-dependent, jealous, and judgment. The energy vibrations of shame, blame and woulda, coulda, shoulda are very different from the energy vibration of love. “Stuck,” “hurt,” and “beaten down” are the words many of us use when it comes to matters of the heart. It makes sense then that “anahata,” the Sanskrit word for heart chakra means unstuck, unhurt or unbeaten.
Here are seven ways to open your love or heart chakra:
1. Notice and enjoy love around you. Whether you are single and happy, single and yearning, or coupled and mismatched, you can open up to more love. Begin to do this by noticing the love around you. When you see happy couples, instead of shooting daggers of jealousy and judgement, take a moment to enjoy their love.
Instead of participating in gossipy conversations about who left whom, talk about who is happy. Re-language your “men are dogs” diatribe to one of positive expectations. Notice positive expressions of love everywhere.
2. Activate love with the power of vision. If you only allow yourself to see what is already manifested, you are missing out. Life is a co-creation. Let your third eye chakra help to activate your love chakra by embracing the power of vision. Use your imagination and creative visualization to see the love your want already manifested. Feng shui for love by creating physical space for the love you desire. Use “love vision boards” paint a picture of what love ideally looks like for you.
3. Count your love blessings. Instead of counting all the ways you’ve been dogged out or how stressful dating can be, count your love blessings. Have an attitude of gratitude for the love you have rather than what you are lacking. What we focus on expands. Focus on lack and you will create more lack. Focus on the love of your family, friends, pets, etc.
Create a “love gratitude journal” just for noting daily expressions of love in your life. Gift yourself a piece of rose quartz, the crystal of unconditional love, every time you feel unconditionally loved.
4. Get your flirt on. Flirting, enjoying yourself in the presence of another, is a beautiful and fun practice to open up your heart. Flirting is a divine feminine energy practice. Flirt with everyone from the supermarket checkout person to that cute guy who always smiles at you. Enjoy the feeling of desirability that the dance of flirtation welcomes into your life.
5. Go dancing. Shake it up, baby. Both partner dance and solo dance are great for opening you up to feelings of pleasure. Pleasure is considered to be the domain of the second chakra but it is an essential part of opening up your heart chakra. Fun sexy partner dance includes salsa and the tango. Sexy solo dance includes belly dancing and pole fitness. Dancing increases our capacity for being in the moment, an essential component of love. Find pleasure in your body, own your sexy, and revel in your beauty.
6. Receive, receive, receive. Are you able to receive simple things, like a compliment? How we do anything is how we do everything. You cannot be loved if you do not first allow yourself to be loved. Learn how to receive good things without feeling the need to reciprocate. Many of us are champion givers but lacking in the receiving department. Our love lives reflect this. You can’t be both halves of the relationship, giver and receiver, at all times.
Activate your divine feminine energy by learning to receive. Instead of chasing love, welcome pursuit. That’s right. Position yourself to be pursued and receive, receive, receive.
7. Let it go. So they stomped on your heart and ate your feelings for breakfast. It happens to the best of us. Please don’t let negative past relationships steal your future. Heal the past and release it. This is the only way to move forward.
Move forward with your therapy of choice, personal ritual, sharing, self-compassion and journaling. Tears, movement, and voice are the perfect combination to release trapped emotions. You may choose to autopsy and symbolically bury your past relationships in the earth or ocean. You may also choose to try heart healing tools like aromatherapy, positive affirmations, Emotional Freedom Technique or the Unbreak My Heart Chakra Self-Care Kit.
You deserve to be loved unconditionally for exactly who you are in this moment. Open your heart and embrace the energy of love.
Abiola Abrams is the author of the award-winning Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love, Manifest Your Miracles meditation album and African Goddess Affirmation Cards. The popular lifestyle guru is also the founder of the Sacred Bombshell Self-Care Kits, blog, web TV show, and online academy at SacredBombshell.com. Follow her on Twitter to continue the discussion about this week's hot topic, and then email her your burning questions now. Anything you send will be posted anonymously, promise.