Being egotistical and arrogant about your success is one thing, but who says you don’t have the right to applaud yourself while remaining humble?

Jan, 26, 2016

It’s easy to become so focused on what you want to do next that you fail to sit back and take a look at how great you’re doing in life. Setting goals and demolishing them is a great thing. When you accomplish something great, you have every right to give yourself credit and say, “Wow, I really did that.”

#BlackGirlMagic: Why Black Women Have 'That Thing' And You Don't Have to Understand It

Giving yourself credit doesn’t mean you’re not being humble, it simply means that you are proud of yourself and your achievements. I constantly find myself downplaying my accomplishments because I don’t want people to look at me as conceited. I know I’m not the only one, but at some point what other people see doesn’t mean anything as long as you know that you are humbly giving yourself recognition. I’m a firm believer in being humble gets your far, but I’m also learning that stopping and appreciating your greatness is important to you. Here are some of the main reasons we don’t give ourselves credit and how we can possibly overcome this.

We fear having the title that comes with the spotlight

With so much focus on external fears (roller coasters, bugs, etc.) — do we ever take the time out to analyze internal fears such as, something as simple as giving yourself recognition? Don’t fear the spotlight. A lot of times a spotlight is attached to having great accomplishments and being recognized. It is common to fear that “spotlight” and be afraid of taking on that title because we always have to ask ourselves, “What if I fail?” But, what if I ask you, what if you take flight and prosper? Take that spotlight and own it, never fear recognition.

We were taught that vanity is negative

When someone compliments you and says, “I’m trying to get like you, you’re making moves.” Automatically, the reaction is to downplay it and revert it back to them saying, “No, I’m trying to be like you,” or the infamous, “Don’t hype me up.” Why can’t we accept the compliment? If someone genuinely reaches out to you and praises you, then why can’t you praise yourself? Do it and feel good about it.

Bragging vs. Being Proud

Bragging is showing off and pushing your accomplishments on others, that doesn’t show humble characteristics. Simply being proud of yourself is taking the credit with a simply thank you when someone honors you. Being proud of yourself includes self-encouragement—wake up and tell yourself how amazing you are. Focus on what you’ve done so far instead of dwelling on what else you have to accomplish.

You’re amazing and you’re doing great things, don’t ever overlook it or question your greatness. Spread that #BlackGirlMagic and give yourself credit. If anyone thinks you’re bragging kill them with kindness and let them know you deserve to praise yourself and give yourself recognition, if you don’t, who will?

Asia Milia Ware is a ESSENCE College Ambassador at Hampton University. She majors in Strategic Communications with a minor in English. She aspires to be a fashion editor-at-large and an entrepreneur. In her spare time she works out, writes, travels and styles outfits. You can follow her on Instagram @MissAsiaMilia. #EssenceSquad