Broken relationships hurt. The connections and ties we forge with one another are what make us strong and life sweet. So, when relationships fall apart, it hurts us in ways that are unimaginable. If we work hard we may be able to salvage and restore ties. Sometimes, the best response is to just let things go. But, when the break is in our family… walking away isn’t easy. In fact, it might prove to be impossible.
I know what it’s like to want wholeness in the midst of something that is broken—to be in a situation where there are no real winners or simple solutions. So, last week when I asked the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality group I co-lead to share their hopes for the near future; it came as no surprise that 90% of the people had one wish. Like me, they simply wanted a drama-free time with loved ones this holiday season. I listened as the husband in an interracial marriage voiced stress over having to attend two full Thanksgiving dinners with family; while a granddaughter questioned why her grandmother no longer called her.
We all may want peace over the holidays. But, it’s important that we don’t achieve it at the cost of our values. The best way to get through this season is to make a commitment to being true to you. Self-neglect is the breeding ground for stress and emotional drain.
During the holidays, many of us get trapped into being our “false self,” meaning we allow others’ expectations to dictate our actions. Here are some tips for getting through the season in one piece:
1. Turn On Your “NO” Button: Only say “yes” to what you want to this holiday season. If we’re constantly feeling pressured, we wind up stressed out, resentful and overwhelmed. Acting out of agreement with our own conscience causes us to feel fractured and phony. It’s essential that we own our lives by guarding the way we spend our time. Decide today that you will only make a certain number of concessions over the season.
2. Focus On the “Glad Tos”: We can release some tension from our lives by switching our language and thought process from “have to” do and focus on being “glad to” do. It can seem as if all our time is spent managing the “have tos” of life. Throughout the day it would serve us well to look at our “To Do” list and focus on how grateful we are to be able to take action. If we consciously focus our attention to the benefits and blessings attached to it, we can shift our attitudes.
3. Practice Gratitude: Try though we might, holidays present opportunities for loads of comparison. We spend time catching up with the “seasonal” people in our lives—sharing the events that only put us in the best light. Reality is, many of us have had a challenging year. Let’s prepare ourselves over the next few weeks by spending five minutes every morning, writing down the things for which we are grateful. Consciously connecting with our blessings will empower us.
Take five minutes to write today’s gratitude list. Then write down three things you want the most from your holiday season. To the best of your ability, let the decisions you make over the next few weeks be governed by these goals.
Affirm out loud and fill in the blank, “I choose _____ this season.”
Named the “North America’s Next Greatest Speaker” by eWomenNetwork, Felicia T. Scott is a Certified Empowerment Coach™ who empowers her clients to turn their Worth into Wealth as she partners with them to DISCOVER their WORTH, DO the WORK and DEFINE their WEALTH. Get more insight, download the FREE “8 Choices Winners Must Make” seminar MP3 on her website.