The power of definition in our lives is huge. All of us have tapes that we play in our heads about who we are, what we want, what we are capable of and why we can or cannot achieve something we desire. Most of the baggage of “definitions” that we carry comes from our families.
All of us were given a role in our families, a “name,” and a “definition” -- she is the smart one, he is the funny one, she will never amount to anything, or we expect great things from him in the future. Most of us either got positive affirmations or negative ones. And they play a huge role in how we see ourselves.
These “tapes” or “boxes” often keep us from knowing our value and from moving toward the fulfillment we all desire in our lives. My goal for 2012 is just one: to be authentically me. I have made no resolutions, instead I am resolved that I will live my best life by working on me, and knowing that I am a valuable human being, who has much to offer the world around her. Here are some suggestions I’d like you to consider on your 2012 journey:
Know your value: Period. Everything about us starts with how we see ourselves. We teach others how to treat us. So be good to you. Know your worth. Respect yourself and honor your soul’s desire and all things are possible in your life.
You cannot fix what you will not face: Being pretty, having a great job, and looking fabulous on the outside will not cover up or fix a wounded or broken soul on the inside. Whatever it is you are carrying on the inside that has you tied up in knots, face it so you can fix it and move forward. Let it go. Pain, regret, guilt and mourning are mind, body and soul killers. Let them go! Whatever it is that is inside of you, face it -- fix it and let it go!
Get your mind right: This is critical to our success as humans. Your thoughts control your life. What we think about, we bring about. It all starts in the battlefield of the mind. Get your thoughts right and all else will follow.
Define you for you: You are the master of your fate, the captain of your soul. Don’t just talk about it, as my friend Jacquie Hood Martin likes to say -- be about it. Get out of the box others have put you in, don’t allow yourself to be stereotyped. Redefine your life for your happiness.
Live your life in and on purpose: Simply put, make sure that the one life God has given you is one of value, service, joy, and goodness. Live your life in such a way that others want to be in your company. Speak so that others want to hear what you have to say. Be a light that shines brightly in your workplace, family, and friendships. Follow your passion, and in doing so, I promise you that you will find your purpose.
If you can incorporate these principles into your daily life, I promise you that the next time you resolve to do a thing or be a thing, you will find success.
Sophia A. Nelson is an award-winning author, political & cultural commentator, and opinion columnist. Her top-selling 2011 hard cover book, “Black Woman Redefined” will be released in paperback September 2012.