I am and have always been a woman of my word. I show up. If I cannot be who or what someone needs me to be, I will not make excuses for who I am; I will accept me as I am and hope that they will too.
I cannot be everything to everybody.
PAUSE ~ I've not always known that. As I get older, I realize that if I continue to attempt to make everyone happy, I never will be. I love my friends, family, some co-workers, etc., but I will not sacrifice my happiness for someone else's... been there, done that. ~ PLAY
It has taken 30-plus years for me to really get comfortable with the woman I am, was, and the one I am working to become. It has taken a while for me to make the necessary changes I needed to make in order to co-exist with a man in a relationship. And please know that I am still developing. God willing, I will continue to flourish until the day I die. I want to always give my best; some days my best is only yesterday's good. I have accepted that my best may vary depending on who, what and where. I also know that some people, some things, do not deserve my best... they won't get it.
But if I give you my word, my commitment, my all... don't you dare doubt me. It is a slap in the face. There is nothing I despise more, nothing more frustrating than being underestimated by a friend or a person I greatly respect. If I've continuously given you my best, and something happens that rubs you the wrong way or hurts you, remember who I am, who I've been and talk to me to receive clarification. Communication is a blessing. Assuming the worst only makes matters worse, and it really does make an ass out of you (in my eyes) and me (in your eyes).
I'll let you in on a little secret. I hate to be doubted; especially when it comes to my character. I am who I am. I pull no punches and I do not walk around frontin'. I'm not into quiet sabotage. I am not a sneak. I am not a snitch. I'm not passive aggressive. I am out in the open with my stuff. So, if you're wondering how I really feel about you, most likely you know because my actions, past and present have already told you.
I believe there is a lot of grey in the world; never been big on "Black or White" views. One thing I am "Black or White" on is me... you're either with me or against me. There is no in between.
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