Many of you are not going to believe what I’m about to write. It is counter to what you would expect from a professional working in the dating industry-I’m going rogue with this one! At this time of year, dating and relationships blogs are chock-full of articles about where and how you can increase summer romantic escapades. Even recently, I penned a post called “6 Reasons To Date More Than One At A Time” – suggesting that increasing the number of people you date is an effective dating strategy.
An effective dating strategy is only as effective as you are ‘ready’ to date. The rub is that many people are simply not ready – perhaps you recently got out of a relationship, maybe you have lost hope you will meet someone, or you could simply be tired of dating. For those reasons and more, I strongly encourage you to take a break. Yes, remove yourself from the dating scene! There are many perks to doing so and the following are my top 6 benefits of taking a summer dating sabbatical.
It’s amazing how many of us are our worst enemy. If you don’t enjoy your own company and find that you limit your own opportunities, it’s no wonder that dating is a struggle. Becoming a friend to yourself is the first step to becoming a friend to someone else.Take the time to learn to love yourself more. You’ll become more kind, more calm, and the dating world will seem not as cruel as before.
An important fact about how most people meet their spouse is that the top source is friends and family (not through dating sites, at work, or even by matchmakers). That said, while we can’t necessarily increase family, we can increase the number of our friends. When you spend less time dating, it allows more time to be spent strengthening old platonic relationships and building new ones.
Okay, so everyone doesn’t have sex casually when dating but let’s face it, there’s a whole lot of gettin’ between the sheets goin’ on. It’s reported that 72% of us have had casual sex or a one-night stand…can someone say WOW? Taking time off from dating will give something else time off…yes, what’s below the belt. A sex hiatus not only eliminates chances of STDs, it spiritually strengthens you.
Spending less time dating allows you to rediscover forgotten hopes and hobbies. What were all the things you used to enjoy doing, but haven't done in a while? Or perhaps there’s a skill you've always wanted to develop? Refocusing on you allows time and clarity to exclusively pursue personal interests, making your dating sabbatical a time to rejuvenate passion.
Romantic love isn't the only love worth pursuing. You can love a parent, sibling, BFF, hairdresser, pet, blog (like The Modern Day Matchmaker Thursday Blog on Essence.com…lol), idea or activity. And don't forget that you can love yourself: your hair, your body, your derriere, your nose. Exploring new forms of love will allow you to redefine love.
For everyone who has written a blog post, academic paper, or report for work, knows the adage of giving yourself a 24 hour break from writing in order to help you better see grammatical and spelling errors.That day off gives you a fresh pair of eyes, to see things you didn’t previously. A dating sabbatical is no different. Typically when people come off of a dating hiatus, the first thing mentioned is their surprise in their ability to see the red flags of those they may have fallen for previously and surprise to find the abundance of “available” singles.