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Big Love: On His Mind

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Although society has us thinking that anyone above a size 4 is overweight, I've been surrounded by plus-size women - my mother, my sister, my aunts - all my life, so I never looked at it as a negative attribute. To me, it's completely the norm. As early as high school, I dated girls who were plus-size, and both of my ex-wives are. As a guy who's 6 feet 6 inches and 235 pounds, my woman's got to have the behind, the breasts and the thickness around her waist to hold her own with me. Not that I think smaller women are more fragile; I just like meat with my potatoes.

Now I'm a firm believer that you don't have to be unhealthy just because you're pleasantly plump. As a former pro baller, I want my woman to be big, not out of shape, like my sexy dream girls Queen Latifah and Mo'Nique. When I go to a bar or a club, I love to see a beautiful woman in a slinky dress and mile-high heels. I just prefer the sister wearing the larger slinky dress and three-inch pumps.

But being with full-figured women can have its challenges. Along with the reproachful "What are you doing with her?" looks that I usually receive from slim women, I often have to worry about my woman's insecurities. The last person I dated seriously, I was honest with and faithful to for the entire relationship. But if a thin woman walked by and looked at me, my lady would immediately accuse me of wanting her just because she was smaller. Even though my woman knew my dating history, it was just a knee-jerk reaction whenever she felt threatened by a female of smaller size. I did everything I could to make her feel secure: openly displaying affection, always having her by my side, taking her shopping, and encouraging her to wear sexy lingerie. Our relationship ended because she wanted kids and I didn't, but I'll never forget how much her unnecessary insecurity bothered me.

Despite all of that, I still prefer the company of big women. And I'm not an anomaly. Plenty of men are turned on by a voluptuous physique-perhaps because they believe that big women tend to be more sexually adventurous than smaller sisters. In my experience plus-size women have been much more experimental with positions. And we all know that when the lights go out, and you two are alone and have to talk, it's got to be about more than how small your jeans are. On the contrary, I've found that most slender women are often overly preoccupied with fitting society's standards for the "trophy wife," while more ample women focus on the loving. They're working harder to please their man-and they can cook too!

Currently, I'm a single man. That's not because of a shortage of full-size sisters, but because after two divorces, it's time to redefine myself. I need to discover what makes me happy so that when I do meet the right woman, I can offer her a complete package (physical, spiritual and emotional availability). I don't foresee getting remarried, but I certainly hope to spend the remainder of my days with one special, sensitive, beautiful plus-size woman.

 

Photo Credit: Chris Hartlove

Filed Under: Men We Love
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