Show Transcript
[MUSIC] The past couple of months, I've had this recurring thought that I've really been wrestling with and it is, "I don't want to do this". What it is that I don't want to do? What is it that I don't wanna do? And so, number one please know, that it's very important that you take the time to think about what you thinking about. Otherwise little cootie thoughts will get in there and poison your whole mind. And you know what it is? I don't wanna do this, my way anymore. More. [SOUND] My way means that I'm always struggling, fighting for control. My way means that I'm suspicious, and cautious, and leery about what other people are doing. [UNKNOWN] My way means that it's gotta happen at a certain time in a certain way with certain people and I gotta have the right shoes and the right earring. I just, I don't wanna do this. I don't wanna struggle with my ego anymore. [SOUND] Hear me. Hear me with your skin. Hear me with your hair. Hear me with your finger nails and your teeth. Hear me. You gotta hear this. You gotta hear this, okay? Our lives, are cycles of continuous correction. It's harder not to do the work because that's when you struggle with your ego. When you don't question why you do the things you do, the way you do them, so here's what I have to say -- say to my sisters, as every woman, really, but particularly women of. Brown and black descent. We are out, of, order, [NOISE] and we got to get, it, together quick. [SOUND] I'm not blaming us. I'm not blaming us, but beloved sister women, because we are out of order our children are out of order. And because our children are outta order. Our communities are dying. [SOUND] Let me tell you, let me tell you. Even the king has a mother. [SOUND] And the king's mother didn't raise him like he was a scuz bucket on the corner. She fed him a certain way, she talked to him a certain way, she exposed him to certain things, she did certain things with him, because she understood she was the mother of a king. We're dying to early of things that are beneath us. We're holding on too tightly to things that aren't worthy of who we are. [SOUND] If we can't control our forks. And our private parts. [SOUND] Some people never should meet the madam. Some people never get to meet the madam. [SOUND] My brothers, please go back and get your children. [SOUND] Go get em. She'll let you in. [SOUND] Ladies, when he shows up to get em, shut your mouth. [SOUND] There's no reason, for there to be juvenile courts overrunning. With black and brown boys, [SOUND] whose hearts are aching, because their fathers aren't there. Go get your children. [SOUND] There's no child, reason for black and brown girls any girls. Don't be ashamed. Don't be ashamed. Don't be afraid. Ladies, stop the gossip. Please, stop talking about your baby daddy. It's not a baby daddy. [SOUND] It's really not. It's the one you chose to give your body to. [SOUND] You wouldn't have had a baby with the daddy, had you not chosen to introduce him to the madam. [SOUND]


Iyanla Vanzant discusses 10 Ways To Fix Your Life at the 2013 ESSENCE Festival.