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[MUSIC] Today on Essence Live my girl Brandy stops by and talks becoming Zoe Ever After. Plus it is all about hair natural, relax, swiss, braids you name it. We're gonna talk every hair controversy. So right now it's time for the hot list. The biggest stories you're buzzing about this week. [SOUND] Lupina Nyongo is starting 2016 with a bang by letting her first Essence cover. The Kenyan beauty is featured in the January issue of the mag and one Essence.com reader said as a man, all I can say on Lupina in this photo is wow. [SOUND] A Baltimore judge has selected a majority black jury to decide the faith of William Porter The first police officer to go on trial for the death of Freddie Gray. During opening arguments, prosecutors say that Porter, who is black, had multiple opportunities to securely buckle Gray into the police van. Love and Hip Hop New York star Mendeecees Harris has been sentenced to eight years in prison for drug trafficking. The 36 year old posted a message to his fans on his Instagram page, accepting responsibility for his actions. His wife and co-star Yandy Harris also used Instagram to thank her fans, saying God and love always prevails, but, what's it really like to live your life and relationship on reality TV Well, we'll talk to the woman Omarion calls his soul mate next. It's Thursday, December 3rd, and Essence Live starts now. [MUSIC] Welcome to Essence Live. I'm your host Dana Blair. We have an exciting show lined up for you, and of course I wanna hear from you, so, hit us up on social media using the hashtag essencelive to join the conversation. And, guess what? If you like to call in, live, to ask questions of our celebrity guests, you can. Just email us at [email protected] for more details. Okay, so you know my first guest from Love and Hip Hop Hollywood where she's often in a bright spot in a room full of crazy. Joining us via Skype, Omarion's girlfriend and aspiring recording artist, Apryl Jones. How are you Apryl? Good Good, how are you? I'm fabulous. Oh look at the cutie patootie. I know. Out special guest today. [LAUGH] I had him in the play room and then he just wanted to come out, so now he's a part of the interview. [LAUGH] I love it, he's a star. Well welcome to both of you. [LAUGH] First off, congratulations, we hear you're expecting baby number two. Yes. And it's a little girl, correct? It is a girl. It is a [UNKNOWN] We thought it was a boy, but it turned out to be a girl. So. Now, are you planning another natural home birth? And will we see that on the show? No, you won't see it on the show, but I I am planning to do this second birth the same exact way. Yes. Same way. The same way. Yes, that's right. That was a co-sign right there. [LAUGH] And we love the love between you and Amarian and you seem to have a real relationship where you respect each other and communicate very well. How do you maintain that under the glare of reality TV, especially given the reality show curse if you will? At the end of the day, me and his relationship, that's my best friend. We have a strong bond so we just knew that coming onto a Reality TV Set nothing was gonna really change that. Like I said we have a lot of respect for each other, he's my best friend. And at the end of the day our reality is Our foundation and our home. You know when we have to go work, that's work. Right. Totally understand. And do you often maybe check in with each other to make sure we're still on the same page and the show isn't creeping in? Absolutely. Yes, yes. and we've never been worried about the show curse because, like I said we walked into the Love and Hip Hop filming knowing that, you know What we were prepared for, what they were gonna kind of put us in our story, and they had a lot of respect for me and Omari so we kinda were not really worried about that, and the simple fact that me and him are, we're best friends, and we talk about everything. So I think we knew that we're gonna be okay. Walking in and walking out. And we also saw, towards the end of this season, you having a conversation about your musical career and wanting to get more into that. What progress, if any, have you made on that? Will we see some music coming from you fairly soon in the future? Absolutely. I'm do in March. So right now, since I've been pregnant, I'm kind of been just in the studio, I've been working. And you know, just creating and vibing and trying to find that sound. But definitely when she drops, give it a couple months after that, because I want to have my bonding process with her. You guys will be hearing something. And between the music, the family, the relationship, the filming. I don't know how you've managed to do it, but you've avoided getting pulled into the drama of other cast mates. How hard was that? Because you're often the voice of reason. You know what. Like I said, they've had a lot of respect for me on Love & Hip Hop. They never really wanted to put me in anything first season because I was obviously pregnant. [INAUDIBLE] So I kinda stayed out of all the drama and then second season they put me with people, but I'm just normally just the person anyway that everyone kinda gets along with because I don't like I don't like to gossip, and I don't like to be in other people's problems. So I tend to just stay out the way. It wasn't much that I was going to give. Being in situations, and they knew that, and they respected it. And we didn't see you or Omarion on the reunion. This past week. So what's your status with the show? Well, we didn't go to the reunion, because Lamar was on tour, and I was with our child and it was just too much trying to get out to New York to do the reunion, so unfortunately we didn't make it, but we are not going to do next season. Okay, you're not doing next season. That's final. That's your final answer Yes. Got you. All right. Well, April, thank you so very much for joining us. Again, congratulations on baby number two. Thank you for having me. I'm not sure if he's still there. [LAUGH] Hope he's hanging out with us. Thank you so much for joining the interview. Coming up, I have a chance to sit Aw. [LAUGH] Bye Bye! Thank you so much for joining us. Coming up I sit down with Brandy to talk about her new BET show and her hair journey. That exclusive is next. But first we caught up with the stars of NBC's The Wiz on the yellow brick carpet. Check it out. [MUSIC] Hey, this is Yolanda Sangweni here on the yellow brick carpet for ESSENCE LIVE. Hello. Hello. Good morning. How is it going? Everything cool Bruv. Tell me what you think makes the story so timeless? I think the world loves coming of age stories, hero stories. Because The Wiz is everything. I mean it's what molded us. It helped us to be who we are today. The message of believe in yourself and know what you have already inside you. I think it's family. It's wholesome, I think everybody can relate to it of looking for courage. Looking for love, looking to be smarter. But it's just fun and you need that. In order for it to be good, for us to bring the best out in each other, and for the whole thing to work. What Can I Do is probably my favorite song. It's just so beautifully composed. I love it. Well, since Mary got here, it's definitely No Bad News. Really? Yeah. No Bad News. And the Tin Man song. My favorite song is actually If You Believe, and Be A Lion. Be a Lion. And Be a Lion. Be a Lion. Be a Lion. I love that song just because what it means, it's the changing point in the story for Lion and means well. The passion that he brings to the character, the passion that she brings to Dorothy. It turns it into something more than just Something to listen to. [MUSIC] How many times have you seen The Wiz movie? Three. I cannot count how many times I've seen it. I was watching that back when we had VCRs, if anybody knows what those are anymore. I can't even count, I, 90 I can't even count. I mean just in the last year I probably seen the Wiz at least three times, three, four times. I recall being nine years old and turn around and looking back and seeing my whole family sitting together, watching this. This is major. I can't even put words together right to even express it. I'm just so happy to be a part of it. Ease on down, ease on down, ease on down, ease on down, ease on down the road. [SOUND] Thank you. Our next guest really needs no introduction. It's Brandi. Welcome to the show. [LAUGH] Yay. Thank you. I've always wanted to yell that. [LAUGH] I love it. Welcome to your first time to the Essence Live studio. I know. It's so nice. Thank you. Thank you. I love it. It's a good vibe here. Well, this is home now, so you can keep coming back, oops, I just threw a ring at her y'all. It's all good. It's all good. But it's okay, it has spice and paprika. So, you're here to talk about your new show on BET, Zoe Ever After. Dream come true. It's a romantic comedy, a little different from The Game or I seen you in Chicago on Broadway, tell us a little bit about Zoey It's like Moesha all grown up. She is a single mom, and she was with a famous boxer for about 20 years, and she wanted to step out of that shadow and discover her dream as a make-up artist turned cosmetics An entrepreneur Yes. An entrepreneur. So she's really, I think a lot of women out there can actually relate to this. Kind of starting fresh, taking a career turn or career change, and so, does she post awards? Does she find new romantic interests? Like what can we expect Well, she's definitely dating. Okay. She's definitely dating. And sometimes that creeps up on her motherhood. Sometimes the ex-husband and my son is at the house when I'm trying to have a date. But -. Okay. That could be interesting. Yeah, it's funny. It's really funny. So you have those moments where you go whoa, laugh, and -. Now, what's something that Zoe would do that Brandi may not do? Date. You wouldn't date? No, not right now. You're not dating right now? No. You're focused on acting? I'm focused on just me and just continuing to build my confidence and working on of course my career and raising my daughter. That's my focus right now. And speaking of your daughter, she's now a teenager. Yes. Which it can be your fun years. It's fun for a young lady. Yes, how's that going, are there any Brandy-isms that you're passing down to her. Because, I mean, you grew up in the spotlight and now she's in the spotlight. And that can be kinda difficult as a teen, especially as a young lady. Yeah, it's definitely a transition. Just, you know, going into the teen years. But Mm-hm. For her, I think her childhood is just gonna be completely different than mine because she's not in the spotlight. I wanted her to have a normal life and not get into this business even though she has the bug, she can sing and do all that but she's not, she's not ready for it. Oh well, that's kinda win for her though to have a mom that knows what's what in those, like you know what maybe now was not the right Time Yeah, cuz I could show her the ropes and I know what this business can do to child stars, and I just would rather her wait until she has a sense of self and can really think and stand up for herself before she gets into this business. I love that. Yeah. And are you gonna be watching The Wiz tonight? I'm not, only because I wanna watch it with my daughter, so I'm taping it, DVRing it, and we're gonna watch it when I get back home. Broadway, you got bit by the bug. Bit. Bit by the bug. Hard. So I'm gonna see you come back to Broadway? I would love to, I loved my experience as Roxie Hart. It just It just reawakened me in a different kinda way and I just wanna continue. The right role though, because I mean, Roxy'll be hard to top. So I just wanna make sure it's the right- The right fit. the right moment. Yeah. Well, definitely, definitely. Now, Kobe just announced his retirement. I know. And of course, everybody remembers and loves you all Prom picture. Yeah. Have you had a chance to speak with him since his announcement? I haven't. But I can say that Kobe is my favorite basketball player. And I'm a bit sad to see him go. Mm-hm. Basketball is like one of my favorite sports. Sports and now it's like, another good player is leaving. So, it's. Everybody has their moment and has their time. But just a little sad to see him go. It's an end of an era and he's such a class act. Yeah. He's And such a talented So he didn't give you a scoop or anything? [CROSSTALK] What's next? [LAUGH] Oh, no, no, no. No. I don't want him to walk completely away from basketball. I would love to see him contribute his gifts to a team, coaching, or talking about basketball on a panel, something. I don't want him to completely disappear from The face of [INAUDIBLE]. But I can also imagine that when something's been a part of you for so long that might be difficult for him to do as well, so. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I just hope. I'm being selfish. [LAUGH] It's okay. It's okay. And our episode today, we're talking about hair. Oh, yes. And you are a hair icon. And we have a little fun segment called Brandi Hair-volution. You see what we did there? Hair-volution! [INAUDIBLE] Aah, I loved it. What's the kind of [CROSSTALK] I loved it. [CROSSTALK] We're gonna show you a couple of images. We might take a walk down memory lane. Okay. And you tell us the story behind it, you ready? Okay. [SOUND] Okay, all right, so here's the first one. Yes. The braids. [LAUGH] The braids, my favorite. Your favorite- I love braids, and they're like my favorite. So, of course when you came out at Dallas, your signature look, Yeah. Everyone everywhere was trying to do the Brandy braids. Yeah. Did you realize they could be such a statement piece for you when you, First came on the scene. I didn't know, I just felt that it was low maintenance. And, I was having a good time with them, and it became. I know about low maintenance Brandy. But, then it became like a trend so. That's cool.>> Now how did you keep your edges in your hair so healthy? Well it wasn't healthy for a long time. Really? I had to rebuild and reconstruct and. And really take care of it. Yeah, really take care of it. Okay, all right. So here's our- But now I have a braider th at is really healthy with the braids, not so tight. I saw your look at the Soul Train Awards. That was. You liked it? You slayed. Thank you. All right. So, here's our second look. [LAUGH] A little play with hair color. Yeah. Okay. All right. Let's talk about it. I didn't really know who I was at that time. I was just trying to find it. I was trying to find new things, but It's so funny like when I tried a new color my mum was like listen Brand, black is your color. It looks great on you. Because it brings out your features. So, I've never been blonde, or redhead again. Do you think you'll do it maybe some- No. Okay. I don't think I'll Fair enough, no worries. And the third look. Yes, curls. I love the curls. I love the curls. Let's talk about it. I love them, I feel so glamorous when I have my hair curly and I still wear my hair curly. I wore my hair curly yesterday. Okay. Yes, so. Do you get to wear as curly as often as you'd like, or does the shooting schedule kind of dictate your look? Well, no, not my schedule. Just more the feeling. Mm-hm. Yeah. So when you're curling, Brandy is feeling sassy. I'm feeling sassy. I'm feeling [BLANK_AUDIO] Hair. Mm hm. Heat free hair. Shout out to you guys. Okay. I love the hair, it's natural and I wanted to try it. And I love the way it turned out and It was cut the right way. It framed my face the right way. I loved it. It was beautiful. And it was definitely a bold thing to do because it was different. It was very different. It was very different. But you have a face though your features you can carry Pretty much any frickin' look you want to carry. Thank you, as long as my hair is black. [LAUGH] Okay, caveat, when your hair is black. But thank you so very much for taking the time to stop by and chat with us. And you have to come back and visit any time here at Essence Live. Thank you, I will. Thank you so much. I will, yeah. All right, and please be sure you can catch Her new sitcom, Zoe Ever After on BET, starting January fifth. That's a great way to start your 2016. Up next, our hair conversation continues with a star-studded panel in studio. Stay tuned. [MUSIC] We hear about team natural. Right. And team relaxed, and I always tell everybody I play for both teams cuz I go back and forth. When it suits me I will be relaxed as I am today, and when it doesn't I will go back to natural. And Dr. Miracles as you stated earlier has this campaign called undo the hurt. You can go to undothehurt.com and have conversations with other women and share your hair stories. And I think one of the important things about or one of the important ways of beginning to bridge the divide is to start having a conversation about it. Because we attack what we don't know. Right. Or what we don't understand. Right? We make all sorts of assumptions about sisters who are natural. We also make assumptions about sisters who are relaxed. And a lot of times those may be wrong assumptions. And I think what we first need to do is stop judging and that's all the way around. We know for many years there have been things that have been taught to us. Whether directly or indirectly, we have received messages about ourselves that were dictated to us and not actually how we felt. And I think under the hurt is a way for us to take back Or take control of the message that we send to each other, because really we're just reflections. You're natural, I'm relaxed. Yes. we are. But we still two fly sisters. Absolutely. You know what I mean? So there's. There's a reason why I should be pointing a finger at you and judging you for a choice that you are making. And it's as simple as that. It's a choice. Welcome back to Essence Live. That interview was Was with Melinda Williams. She really got us thinking about why we as black women judge ourselves and each other so harshly when it comes to our hair. So today we're gonna talk all about it. The good, the bad, and the oh so beautiful on black hair. Joining me is the woman who is a pioneer of the natural hair movement, Carol's daughter/founder, Lisa Price, who has always been a curly girl. Hi, Lisa. Hi. [LAUGH] [LAUGH] Welcome to Essence Live. Thank you. Next is celebrity hair stylist and salon owner, Ursula Stephens, who calls her current look short and sassy. [INAUDIBLE] Okay, welcome back, Ursula. [LAUGH] And beside her is award-winning Beauty editor. The founder of KinkyCurlyMe.com and the mother of dope twist outs. That's her look. Miss Jenell B. Stewart. How are you? Hello everyone. Welcome. First time to Essence live? Yes. You have to come back. We'll give you a key. [LAUGH] Okay. Thanks. [LAUGH] Actress and comedian Vanda Carlos she joins us again. And she is rocking the not so virgin Brazilian hair. Mm, okay. Well, I'm not the virgin, I'll tell you that. [LAUGH] Okay. [LAUGH] And finally, stylist and owner of Atlanta's Gocha salon, who says her do is short and spicy, Ms. Gocha Hawkins, how are you? Hi. And welcome to Essence Live. Alright ladies are you ready to get started? Okay. Now at home panelists, I know you have a lot to say on this subject, honey, use the hashtag essencelive and join the conversation. Alright, so, I'm calling this first part of our conversation I'm natural but I'm not conscious. To speak to all misconceptions we have about natural hair and the women who rock it. So, Melinda just mentioned that this natural versus relaxed hair wars, you'll recall such as Solange saying infamously that she does not proclaim she is the team natural vice president and we shouldn't make our hair our main focus. And we've all seen some negative comments on Essence.com and our Facebook page when we post hair galleries of straight looks. So we asked our Twitter family, why does #teamnatural versus team relaxed continue to be a thing? All right, and gstylefire said there are some people who have to just argue. I've been told I'm not team natural because I dye my hair. And then a second comment, @callmecallet echoed that same point. She says Some people, I think it's a betrayal. When I went natural, one of my mentors told me I was committing corporate suicide. Okay. So, strong words from our Essence audience here. So, ladies. What's [INAUDIBLE] Why do you feel that black women are so judgmental about each other's hair? Lisa, I'll start with you. It comes from a lot of different things, but I actually like it's getting a lot better. It was worse five years ago, and it's the idea that you have to be one or the other. And I really feel like things like Instagram and all of us posting our pictures and the different ways that we can look has really opened up the conversation and made it more acceptable to be natural and to wear weave or to wear wig or to blow it straight or to color it. And it's okay. It was much more angry five years ago, and it is getting better, but we have to have more dialogue about it. You've just introduced me as someone who's a founder in the natural hair care movement. I never thought of myself that way, I thought of myself as healthy hair. Okay. If you want to relax it. That's great, just do it in a healthy way. Don't relax it when it's falling down on the floor. That's my thing. I want people to do what makes them feel good and makes them feel confident. Whether that's natural or relaxed. Relaxed, natural, weaved, braid, whatever it is. Go for it. What are your thoughts? I think we're excited, and anyone who's trying something new, you can't stop talking about it. You're your own cheerleader. You know the people who, they go healthy, organic, and then everything in your pantry, they're telling you You shouldn't eat that, you shouldn't eat that. I don't let them people in my house. [LAUGH] Well, it's hard not to be that way when you fall in love with your natural hair after so many years of being told that it wasn't necessarily the way to go. And then finally you open up that door and you're embracing it. You're just so excited, it's hard not to be. If he natural? And you find people like you said, Miss Kites, on Instagram sharing those pictures and making it more acceptable. So when you go online and you see women that look like you, it's easy for you to just fall in love with that. And you create this group of team natural. It's a community. But I also think we're talking too about The women who are like, I'm team natural. You relax your hair. Down with you. They're like pointing their finger. [UNKNOWN] you have a salon in the south. And being a southern girl myself, I know that the movement here in like the big city in New York and up north was a little bit different than down south. Like, when I go home, people think I'm sick. Or I'm on chemo or something like that, my look is not, and I'm not even trying to like, it's not a common thing but here there's like 40 chicks on the block right now who look just like me. So do you experience this in your salon down south? No, not really. I think that different ethnicities, as far as different backgrounds, look at you different based on how your hair is styled. Even for myself, when I wear my hair different colors, I'm looked at in a certain manner that I wouldn't be looked if my hair is blond or if it's black, or something like that. So if it's red and all this vibrant colors, I get a different Background of people, you know. Yeah. So I guess really it just depends on the style you are wearing. And Ursel you have a salon here in New York, do you ever encourage someone, say, if they're relaxing quite a bit and you're like, maybe you need to take a break, you should stop doing this. Not necessarily because you are on one particular team or another but you just feel might be better than them? Yeah, absolutely. I'm with Lisa, I feel that it's about healthy hair, you know what I mean? Whether you relax it, or you're natural. So I'm a professional and all the girls at the salon are professional. So we assess everyone and if we feel like it's becoming over processed, or it's not working for your hair anymore, we definitely urge you to not do it anymore. But I don't feel like for me it's a team natural or a team relaxed. I'm team look good. [LAUGH] Okay, team look good. [CROSSTALK] I'm team look average. [LAUGH] [LAUGH] It doesn't look good or whatever works for you. Because every girl that wants to go natural they have this myth in their head that they think they're gonna look like Tracey Ellis Ross. No honey. [LAUGH] Every natural texture doesn't look like that and natural hair doesn't work for every African American girl. Mm-hm. So it really goes behind about what works for you and that individual. Yeah. Mm-hm. You know what I mean? So And Van we haven't heard from you yet. But a big question that's coming to us via Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter is natural girls- Mm-hm. - African American natural women don't necessarily like when Latina or mixed race or non black women use the word Team Natural. Mm. What are your thoughts? Well, first of all, why are you all asking me about this? [LAUGH] [LAUGH] [UNKNOWN] I'm a black woman. If being mulatto means that you're not black, half black half white, one rule where I'm from, you're black. So just like there's many, many different textures of hair, there's 12 shades of blackness, there's many shades of textures of black hair. So if I'm not black, then I'm taking Alicia Keys with me, I'm taking Halle Berry with me [LAUGH] Take Mariah, take everybody. Don't have a black president Do you encounter this though [CROSSTALK] because you're in front of the camera. You're a comedian. You're an actress. Do you encounter this feedback? A lot of people do think I'm Spanish, and there's nothing wrong with being latino at all, but I am a black woman. I even make. I have jokes about that in my set. Or I talk about people thinking that I'm Spanish all the time. Coming off of what you guys said it's like, whatever make you feel good. That's how you should look. Do you. Whether it's natural, I got all kind of, this is Brazilian girl, it hook me up, this weave in my hair is. All about everything right now, in my life, because I try to do some stuff to my natural hair, and, ew, [LAUGHTER] everybody pray for me She's like, "that's another segment y'all, that's a whole other segment" I have blonde Highlight. And my real hair, my hair was this length this past summer. And I got blonde highlights on my real hair and it fell out. So now I have this version Brazilian saving me right now. And there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe if I would have did all my experimentation on this and not my real hair, I could still be team natural. [LAUGH] And not only that- [LAUGH] No, I did it. No, I didn't. [CROSSTALK] [LAUGH] Do you have any thoughts or opinions on when non-African American women say I'm team natural. Just curly girls in general. Absolutely. I feel like unless you have the same historical context around being natural where there's You're constantly being judged, you're constantly being discriminated against. And also the struggle around hair care, finding hair care products, what it requires. Then being seen natural is something that I feel should only be allowed to be used by me because of that experience. It's not the same struggle. I can't just throw my hair down out of a bun and say, oh, someone's judging me because of the curls. It's an entire relationship, from birth to now, that I've had to experience from people who were here before me who still have to experience it, and even today Girls are being told that they should not wear their natural hair to school, and I love what you're saying about how you use your wearing the weave as an option, but there's so many girls that they just cannot not wear a weave. They just do not love how they look Without it. It's like, if I don't have a weave on, I need to hide. Don't look at me. [CROSSTALK] But that's psychological. That's psychological and we're gonna get to that actually a little later on. But what are your thoughts? What are your thoughts on the curly girl movement? Because there's a lot of mainstream products now that are following the leads of those of you who pioneered into a space where you recognize the need That are now starting to cater to all curly hair types. I can congratulate those girls. Hey, if my hair could curl up like that, I would be wearing it too. But honey, I'm not th at fortunate, so hey, I let them have that. [LAUGH] Well ladies, we're about to continue this conversation. Oh, I'm sorry Ursula, do you have something? I was just saying, just to piggy back on what you said, that you feel like girls that are not African American can't use the term team natural. They can. The technical term for natural just means chemical free. Mm-hm. That's all it means. Yeah but it's- That's all it means. - it's just, it's just like a slang- Yeah, I mean. - when we put our spin on it we're not referring to natural as in all hair. It's It's our natural hair because we were not natural for so long. Not making the choice to be natural, so now we're [INAUDIBLE] We have, coming up a little bit later on, an original poem on black beauty by Jessica [UNKNOWN] More, but first, singer and Empire star [UNKNOWN] tells us a little bit more about her hair story. So, let's check it out This is V. Bozeman and this is my hair story. In my career I had a season of girl groups, and I dyed, fried, cut, weaved, everything. So when that era was over, I was like, you know what? Let me just start over. It is way easier. Trust [LAUGH] I'm just a regular girl from South Central LA that's just comfortable in her skin. I'm still the Rhonda Wake girl and I can still be my full self. I'm not neo-soul. I'm not power to the people. It's just a stereotypical Type of point of view. I feel like its the history, it's the culture. My family we grew up, the women grew up feeling like grow her hair out. And, it was a big deal when I cut my hair. My grandmother didn't talk to me for months because she felt so betrayed. Cuz I had a lot of hair. So, I just feel like they think it's easier for you to get by, because in their era it was hard to be black, walking in black shoes. So I think hair kinda made it More easier, but it doesn't [LAUGH] it really doesn't. [LAUGH] My dating life is also much more interesting than it was before because I feel like men are more attracted to me. Because I feel like I have a sense of confidence that they're not Always engaging with. I always tend to say when I embrace my full self, that's when I feel like the whole world kind of embraced B Bozeman more. So, when I cut it off, I just really saw myself for the first time. And, I just decided that I liked what I saw, I was like oh, I like that girl. Girl, I'm a myth, this is cool. Go ahead, look at me and Vee having the same do. Welcome back to Essence Live. I'm your host, Dana Blair and joining me here in the studio we have, Lisa Price, Ursula Stephen, Janelle Stewart, Von Decarlo and Miss Gocha Hawkins. Thank you for sticking around ladies. All right, so don't forget to chime in on social media with your thoughts on all things hair. Use hashtag Essence Live or email us your questions to Essence Live essence.com. Now I'm calling part two of this discussion long hair don't care for obvious reasons. [LAUGH] First, let's talk a little bit about how our hair affects our relationships. In the clip with V Bozeman, she mentioned that she didn't necessarily feel like it affected her dating life. So I'm gonna start here with you Ursula, and I'm gonna take it all the way around. Have you noticed that your hair choice whether it was long, curly, straight may have affected you dating life. I think it doesn't affect it in a negative way. I feel like I just get a different. I get approached all the time honey. Just thank you very. Oh, just go ahead. [LAUGH] But I definitely get approached by a different type of man- True. - depending on what hairstyle I decide to wear. Mm-hm. When I take it down to the kneecaps- Mm-hm. - I get the little young- Little tenderonis. - little tenderonis. [CROSSTALK] When I have it short and sassy I may get approached by A working man. Mhmm. You know. Wall Street somewhere. Well, I've been married almost 24 years and my husband loves my curly hair. occasionally, like twice a year, I blow my hair out straight. Very different train ride walking down the street. Oh you look so nice today, good afternoon! I'm like I have on jeans and flip flops. But my hair is straight. Oh. So it's a different response. Oh. Oh. Janelle. I've been with my husband for ten years and he loves my hair natural. But when we first started dating, I was relaxed. And when I went natural, he loved it. And all my girlfriends that Are natural. They have no problem finding men, boyfriends. They're dating, they're married. But just like you ladies said it's a different type of guy that's approaching them. And the names, the language that they get. Oh Nubian princess, my queen. They get those beautiful names instead of hey shorty. [LAUGH] Okay. [LAUGH] It makes you feel like you're earthier or something I don't know. Men are always Always trying to come up with techniques to get at. But I don't know, I always wore my hair pretty much the same, so I see a difference in when I gain or lose weight, depending on what [UNKNOWN] Something else. It depends on what's going on down here. [LAUGH] [LAUGH] It depends on what type of man approaches me, but I had, my husband before he passed away, God rest his soul. He said looked cleaner with my hair straight. Cleaner, okay. Cleaner. Because my natural curl is kind of frizzy curl, like wet look. And, I don't know, I guess in his eyes I looked more like a. I don't know, dirty girl. Oh, okay. He liked my hair straight but I like my hair curly. I don't know what this is? This is somewhere in between I guess. It's okay. [LAUGH] And Goshe, what are your thoughts? It doesn't effect my current relationship but just in walking down the street different hair styles lend Color, it does change the type of people that do talk to me. And, Gocha, I wanna stick with you here because you are a professional hair stylist. A lot of black women are getting this super hot blowout, like a lot of heat, extremely straight looks. What are some healthier alternatives versus that extreme if they want to achieve a A straight look. You can still do a straight look without so much heat. I do not do the Dominican roll up, blow out- That's what we're trying to say when I was landing. Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. [LAUGH] But when I go over there they always in a back over [INAUDIBLE] To treat their hair and get it back on track. So, you can still blow dry your hair without all that or you You can roller set it. You can still do those healthy options too. Ursula, any tips, quickly for correcting heat damage? I definitely feel like to correct damage is to first things first lay off of the heat. You don't have to be photo shoot fresh every single day. You can try to pull back. If you would maybe flat ironing once every two weeks, try to pull it back to once a month. You know what I mean? Just try to really Pull back and increase hair condition and treatments, for sure. All right, so let's do one last check-in with our Essence Live fam on Facebook. When we asked about the Team Natural versus Team Alexa visions, we got a flurry of responses. Lannie Frasier said, I'm Team however my hair flows, so she agrees with most of the people here on the Panel Tevina Chiffon Willis give us all three names. She said I'm annoyed that this has grown into teams. She continues I went back to perming for styling reasons and was told that I was kicked off of a fictitious group I didn't even know I belonged to. And finally LeShannon Johnson said our hair is beautiful no matter how we choose to wear it hashtag one team. Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts? That's crazy. I think your hair is your mood, and we're women. We're emotional creatures. So at the end of the day, whatever we feel like is what our hair is gonna reflect, which is probably why I had all that damage over the summer, because I was losing my mind. It's like It shouldn't be a team and you know what, I think judgement becomes jealousy. Mm-hm. And whoever is pointing their finger, they were not just team natural five minutes ago. True. That is very true. You just got that perm out of your hair. It's just about this long. Yes. You've grown it out, cut it out. Don't get [INAUDIBLE] [LAUGH] Yeah, yeah [CROSSTALK] So, really quickly, I wanna ask yes or no. And I'm kinda jumping back to a comment [UNKNOWN] one of the Essence Live viewers made a little bit earlier about going natural was committing corporate suicide. So, yes or no. Would you change your hair for your dream job? Absolutely not. [UNKNOWN] Dream job. Dream job. Would I change my hair for my dream job? Maybe. Maybe? Janelle? I've played the game so no. If I can't be me, it's not for me. I'm an actress, so that's an easy yes. You're actually acting all the time so all the time. Like I can be who you want me to be. Crochet, I can see you thinking over there. No, because I like who I am and that's The thing that I like about being self-employed, I get to do what I want to do, and I don't have to go into some place because that's who you want me to be. You know, I enjoy being me and making my own decisions Awesome. And quickly [UNKNOWN] I'll come right back to you And final thoughts, one sentence on this Team Natural versus Team Relaxed. Any final thoughts? No. Be you, whatever it is. Straight, curly. Whatever. It's about how you rock it. Confidence. Absolutely I'm gonna stick with that and say be you but whatever that is, experiment with the weave. [LAUGH] Before you all the way you. Yeah. Before you all the way you. Janelle? Love yourself as you are naturally. Ursula? Team Look Good, whatever it takes. And Lisa? Healthy. Healthy. There we go. Healthy. Team Healthy. Alright I want to thank all of you so much for joining us. I know we could sit here and chat and chat- All day. All day. [LAUGH] - all day. And thank you all out there for sharing your Your thoughts with us using the #ESSENCELIVE and please continue to email as at [email protected] We'll be compiling some of the best comments on our Facebook page. So to close off the show, you might remember her from showtime at the Apollo. But she has a new album sale on now entitled Black tea, the legend of Jessi James. With an ode to all that is beautiful about us here's poet Jessica Care Moore performing Black Girl Juice. See you next week, same time, same place, same fabulous hair style. I'm Dana Blair. Bye bye. [MUSIC] Maple syrup in the morning, brown sugar that sweetens. Cinnamon twist and apple cider. Magic black dust insider. Wheat bread with homemade spread. This juice goes straight to your head. Coffee without dairy cream. Any many's dream. Black cat that'll bring you luck. Afrodesiac you love to suck. You wish. Black twisted licorice cooking black eyed peas wearing black knee high stockings. Black pumps, black hair, black dress, black eyes. This Juice makes you wise, allows the sun to shine. Black eagles, black butterflies. Black tears she sometimes cries. But one sip and you'll believe. Braided hair, natural cut, or curly weave. Nails, acrylic tips and wide shaped hips. Most men think to hump her. Nails cut off she got a nice touch on her jumper. Revolutionary ward and she's your mother, aunty, sister Just a friend and daughter. You gotta recognize her eyes, she rolls them when she's mad. And she keeps her eyes wide open when she makes love cuz she's bad to the bone. Black Girl Juice is nutritional boost, bananas, strawberries, and melon and nectar. No average man can affect her. Ingredients are spicy, mild, sweet, burns your tongue like a jalapeno pepper steak with authentic chopsticks. First round, dry pick, black Afro pick, the one with the fist. Tight, deep, loose. Have you ever taste a black girl juice? You might wanna pour some inside a jar. Let it linger on your top lip. Take it on a trip. And dab small circles of it on your wrist, ankles, or ears. And if you're daring enough to ask, I've got some black girl juice if you have an empty glass. [MUSIC]
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