Hey essense.com, I'm back. It's your girl Demetria Lucas and I'm back to tell you about my second book Don't Waste Your Pretty The Go to Guide To Making Smarter decisions. In life and love. This book is a straight Q&A, it's based off my Formspring and ask.fm. I've answered 38,000 questions over the last four years. I've given you the top 250, the questions that always come up over and over again, and I want you to make smarter decisions in your relationships. Relationship. We have so much to offer in relationships that we don't even know about. We have our nurturing, we have our spiritual side. We have our praying hands. We have our listening ears. We have that good cooking. We have our time. We have our energy. And those are all great resources when it comes to dating and in relationships. So we wanna make sure that we're giving those resources to someone who deserves it. Someone who appreciates it and someone who is giving it back to it. So don't waste your pretty it's about knowing your worth always. Knowing your worth and making sure the person you're dating knows it as well. I think the most popular question is, are men intimated by my success. Black women are building businesses and getting degrees. And making more money then ever before, and one of the biggest fears for single ladies is that, their success, their accomplishments are going to scare men away. The good news is, no, not for a secure man. You are more likely to get married and more likely to stay married. The more education you have. So go on and get those Ph,D.s, those master's degrees, build those businesses, be a success story. You have nothing to worry about in that department from secure men. That's the tricky part. I do recommend online dating. 40 million Americans are online. They're doing their thing with the click of a button. I think the biggest mistake people make there, is they're trying to date online. Online dating is a place to meet people, it's not a place to date them. So, you meet someone, within a week you should get on the phone, within two weeks you should be sitting across from them. For my very scared ladies three weeks tops. You're not getting catfished on my watch. Yeah, this sexy, selfie guy, he's a thirst bucket. He's trying to get attention from as many women as possible. He's probably trying to sleep with most of them. So, he's a guy. Follow him, scroll down, look at his pics and say my-my, but then go on. The guy who's posting like half naked pictures does not have a real job, just so you know. Or benefits. [MUSIC] I think the top relationship mistake women make is settling. Settling. So often we've been told to, you know, be happy, not ask for too much, we're too demanding on men, and I think we've gone so far in the other direction that we're afraid to ask for basic. I get questions from women who are saying, is it okay for me to ask him to call me instead of text? Is it okay for me to insist that he take me out? Because he's always asking me to come over to his house. Is it okay for me just to really ask about anything? If you don't ask for it, you're not gonna get it. And really, you don't deserve to. Stand up for yourself the same way that you do in the office and ask for what you want from your guy. And if he's not willing to step up. Then maybe it's time to get another guy.