Abiola Abrams
Nov, 20, 2017

Over the years, I have found that it’s much easier to mingle bodies than to to have sexual conversations. That’s where this radiant Guyanese-Canadian sister comes in. YouTube sensation Shannon Boodram exploded onto the scene on the MTV VMAs red carpet wearing cute skirt built entirely out of Trojan Her pleasure condoms. Known as “Shan Boody” to her fans, she is currently the host of Facebook’s new show, Make Up or Break Up. Her smart, sexy ventures include a line of stylish necklaces that are also undercover vibrators. This educator is a best-selling author with her book, “LAID”, and a contributing writer for Freeform Network’s series “The Bold Type.” 

Boodram is also a spokesperson for the American Sexual Health Association’s YES means TEST campaign. She is passionate about empowering her beautiful sisters who exercise their rights to say “YES” to sexual activity to also say “YES” to getting tested for STDs.

Her official title may be certified sexologist, but we just consider her to be a sexual badass. Here are Shan’s rules for rocking your sexual power:

Stop faking it. Become an advocate for your own pleasure instead.

How to open up the conversation with your partner about your own pleasure? It's just a matter of really being clear what you like and never ever faking and never lying. It's a slippery slope when you're transmitting wrong information to someone. 

It's like trying to help somebody on a test by telling them that their wrong answers are right. Like a tutor being like, "Yes that's right," because you don't want to hurt their feelings. Then they go ahead and they flunk the test. You've got to be honest. You have to bite the bullet and be clear. Acknowledge that your needs are valid. Your pleasure is valid. Then go to those [sexual pleasure] discussions excited because that's a beautiful journey to undertake. Anybody who loves you, who's a good partner, is going to be just as excited as you are.

Be transparent. Erase the stigmas. Yes, I had chlamydia. 

Chlamydia is a sexually transmitted infection. What makes infection different from diseases is they're not viral. That essentially means you can transmit it through bodily fluids, a very easy way. Through skin to skin contact even. You can get chlamydia through oral, vaginal, anal sex. There are no sores in chlamydia. For women especially, over half of women will have no symptoms at all. If you do see symptoms, it might be bleeding during your period, discharge that is different in color, a burning sensation while urinating or itching or redness. Chlamydia puts you at risk for pelvic inflammatory disease which can lead to infertility. Of course, you are at risk of passing it on to other partners.It is scary for that reason because it is the most prevalent sexually transmitted infection. Most people don't get tested so probably they don't know they have it.

Throw a gorgeous “YES means TEST” adult sex ed party with vulva cupcakes. 

The American Sexual Health Association contacted me about the campaign called “YES Means TEST.”  If you're going to say yes to sex, you should be saying yes to getting tested. That's because less than 12% of young people get tested annually even though one in two people under age 25 will contract an STI or STD in their lifetime. 

I did my “YES means TEST” party with this woman Brittani, who happens to be a yoga teacher. We had games. We had candies. We had vulva cupcakes. It's supposed to be fun and inviting and encourage people to feel like I can say this thing that I have never said before. Then I was shocked because two other people [also shared] -- because I've had chlamydia before I don't mind. I tell that to the gas man. I don't care. It's not a big deal to me. But a lot of people are very precious about the information because of the stigma. But two people in the group were like, "Yes, I've had it."  Another girl was like, "Yes, I've had herpes."

We had a really great candid discussion. 

Get LAID.

When I was doing my book "LAID," I put out a submission for other people to share their stories about sex that others could learn from. I had to tell my story because it's be the change you wish to see in the world.

I have Caribbean parents so I waited until they were on vacation before sending them the link. Because I wanted to give them time to cool down. My mom was livid and her reaction was, "Men could be in rooms laughing and masturbating. They're going to get together and just laugh and masturbate at you." 

My book finally got published. They came to the book launch. That was the first time that they saw that people weren't laughing and masturbating. They were like, "Okay, we get that this might be something." 

It took me a long time to fully embrace this side of myself because you are fighting against a lot. 

I have a show right now on Facebook called "Make Up or Break Up." It’s really, really cool and forward thinking. It's not just like I'm going to go to the top of my mountain of information and disseminate information upon you. It's like we're going to be down with you and we're learning together. We're learning from each other.  

Take a stand for your sexual health at YESMeansTEST.org.

Lifestyle guru Abiola Abrams (@abiolaTV)  is the creator of “The Sacred Bombshell Self-Love Journaling Cards” and the “African Goddess Affirmation Cards.” Find alignment with your mind, body and spirit in her free Spiritpreneur Unblock My Energy Course at Womanifesting.com.

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