You’ve met that certain someone and you are really feeling each other. Whether this person ends up being the “right one” or the “right now one” only time will tell. But right now, you’re happy. As a grown woman, you have made a grown woman decision. You a
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Are we exclusive?
You need to both be on the same page about the state of your relationship. Is this a hookup? A committed, long term relationship? A one-night stand? Make sure that you are in agreement. Don’t ever assume. If one of you thinks that you are heading down the
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Have you been tested?
What is your disease history? Have you been tested? What have you been tested for? What were the results? And how long ago were these tests? Yes, this may sound like an inquisition, but this is a life and death conversation. Don’t rally off the questions
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What if I get pregnant?
Yeah, I know. You may be on birth control but there are many of us condom and birth control babies walking around in the world. Many of us were born of unplanned pregnancies. In the interest of ‘no surprises,’ it’s good to know expectations. An unplanned
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Are you a relationship person?
There are some of us who are relationship people. I consider a relationship person to be someone who generally is in long term monogamous relationships. Then there are those of us who have one long term committed relationship every 10-15 years. You can a
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What is on your “heck no” list?
Yes, no, maybe so. We all have things we are into, things we may be into, and things we will never, ever, ever be into. Share this list with your partner. It can be an informal conversation or a real physical list. What are your turn offs, limits, and sex
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Are you married?
What did I say in question number one about assumptions? I know more than one woman, including myself, who was happily dating someone who turned out to be secretly married. One man (and I use the term loosely) had the nerve to say to my friend in his defe
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What’s your history with domestic violence?
This is very important to know if you are entering into a committed long term relationship with someone. When we are in love, we are at our bests. You never know who a person can be at their worst until you are face to face with it. Unfortunately, people
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What are your fetishes and fantasies?
What really makes your toes curl? The sexiest thing in a new relationship is exploration. You will get to know each other, mentally, physically, spiritually, and eventually sexually. You will get to know this person’s body and they will get to know yours.
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What turns you on?
What gets your potential partner hot? What positions is he into? Of course, you will figure out these things along the way. You'll also be hopefully be discovering and creating your own adventure together. However, conversations in advance about what some
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What kind of lingerie do you like?
What colors do you like? Are you a leather or lace person? La Perla or Victoria’s Secret? These are things that you’ll discover together, but what a fun question to ask in advance. Maybe you go shopping together. Maybe one of you goes shopping to surprise
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Meet Abiola Abrams
Abiola Abrams is the author of the award-winning Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love, Manifest Your Miracles meditation album and African Goddess Affirmation Cards. The popular lifestyle guru is also the founder of the Sacred Bombshell Self-Care Kits, blog, web TV show, and online academy at SacredBombshell.com. Follow her on Twitter to continue the discussion about this week's hot topic, and then email her your burning questions now. Anything you send will be posted anonymously, promise.
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