What Will Smith Taught Me About Marriage

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith recently stopped by the ESSENCE office to say hello to our team. In case you were wondering, yes, they are just as awesome as you would imagine they would be. They’re so in love and dedicated to one another.

While Jada chatted with the rest of the staff about her awesome new season of ‘HawthoRNe’ on TNT (a must-see!), I had the pleasure of keeping her husband company while he waited. Seriously!

Being a newlywed, I was thrilled to get a chance to chat with a man who has 13 solid years of marriage under his belt. In the thirty minutes that Will and I sat at my desk chopping it up I learned quite a few valuable lessons on love, marriage, and keeping your man happy. They’re such gems I just had to share them. Listen up ladies, you may want to take some notes. Here’s what Will Smith taught me about marriage.

If You Marry Your Best Friend You’re Good
Every man wants to marry his homie, Will explained. A lot of women will impress them, but it’s the one they can always laugh with and be themselves around that will ultimately impress them most. If you can be yourselves around each other 100 percent of the time and they make you life like no one else can you’ll never have a dull moment together.

Remind Him of What He Has
When you start to feel that you’re nagging your husband to the point of no return and nothing you’re saying is getting through Will suggests you try a new approach. Hold him close, look him right in the eyes, and tell him that you love him, you’re right there, and you always will be. BUT you need him to pick his socks up, right now. As Will puts it, it’s important to remind him that your request is coming from a good place, and what you want is a small thing in the grand scheme of things. Um, genius!

All Men Need a Little Space
“If you don’t give your husband thirty minutes to himself when he first gets home, he’ll stop coming home,” Will told me, straight up. (You’re thinking, no way, right? I did too!) When I asked Will when a wife is supposed to say her piece, he responded, “anytime after that”. Will reminded me that everyone’s home needs to feel like a happy place and it won’t if you’re “greeted with negativity” every time you enter the door. Touché, Will. Talk about a pause for the cause.

Focus on Balance and Excitement Always
According to Will and Jada’s way of thinking about marriage, maintaining a happy union isn’t just about making time for one another. It’s about making the time count too. Excitement and mystery are everything, he said. Surprise them, let them know you love them, and laugh together. Do whatever it takes to put a smile on their face.