“In my early twenties I would collect numbers just to see if I could get them. But now when I meet a woman, I never take her digits unless I intend to actually call. I wouldn’t exchange information unless I planned on following through.”
– Paul H., 32, attorney
“When I ask for a woman’s number, I will almost always call the very next day. I even make notes to myself so that I don’t forget who she is. If I find a woman attractive enough to put her number in my phone, it’s because I plan to pursue her. I don’t see the point of clogging up my cell phone with numbers unless I am truly interested.”
–Mark S., 25, financial adviser
“If there’s chemistry between us, then a follow-up call should definitely be expected. But if her personality rubs me the wrong way after our initial conversation, I probably won’t bother to call her afterward. Why should I waste my time any further if I realize that she’s not the type of woman I’m looking for?”
—Kevin D., 42, firefighter
MICHAEL ERIC DYSON BREAKS IT DOWN
So why doesn’t the guy who got your “math” fail to complete the equation and call? Sure, he could have changed his mind: The club was dark, he was drunk, and now he’s not interested. Or he got cold feet because he thought you might be in hot pursuit. Some brothers can’t take a self-assured woman who knows what she wants. But the two main reasons have nothing to do with you. Some guys collect phone numbers for sport—a way of flexing machismo. He doesn’t intend to call; he’s only trying to add another notch on his belt or brag to his boys. You’re innocent prey. So chalk it up to testosterone’s folly.
Other brothers cop your information and don’t reach out right away because they’re not actually available. A guy may have another woman, or two or three, tucked away. Or he can’t holla at you because he can’t find time in between work, his boys and the home fires he has to keep burning. Consider yourself fortunate if you’ve lost interest by the time he gets around to calling.
Here’s a rule of thumb: A stand-up guy usually won’t let you down by failing to follow up. That missed call just might be a blessing in disguise.
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