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We Asked, the Men Answered


How can you decode your man’s silence to understand what he’s feeling?

There are so many ways to express yourself besides verbal communication, and those other modes might be more revealing and truthful. I help around the house and cook romantic dinners, and I’m respectful of our relationship and her space. It gives me a sense of well-being to do this for someone I love. It’s the nonverbal things that matter because so many people are skilled in the art of verbal deception.
-Harold, New York City

Being tight with communication is a control tactic. My friends are really clear about what they’re thinking when talking to their women. But things get lost in translation-which is frustrating when women won’t take what we say at face value. Many act as if it’s a game, but it doesn’t have to be.
-Jimi, Lexington, Kentucky

If you want to know what we’re thinking, simply ask. Then check what we say against what we do. I try to make my actions match my thoughts. If I love a woman, I strive to demonstrate my love as often as possible with actions great and small.
-Alím, New York City

Brothers, What’s on Your Mind?

1. Once you’ve had sex with a woman, does your interest increase or lessen? Why does the intensity fade for some men after the chase is over? 2. How do men heal from break-ups and what’s the most important lesson you’ve learned after ending a relationship. What does the next woman need to know to understand how men handle hurt? Please respond to: nhabtezghi@essence.com. Thanks! We can’t wait to hear from you!