“We want the full adventure and wonder of dreaming without knowing."
As a new celebrity blogger for People, Tatyana Ali pens about expecting her first child with fiancé Vaughn Rasberry.
“We have chosen to keep the sex of our child a surprise. The only person who knows is our doctor,” Ali reveals. “Friends and family have so much to say about our choice, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. It is so much fun to have people guessing and betting when they are around us.”
She explains how her choice to conceal the sex of her child from even herself and her husband has turned her pregnancy into a guessing game amongst friends and family.
“I think it’s because they want to dream with some measure of accuracy… I sit or lay, sometimes Vaughn lays his head on my belly and we dream. I revel in the uncertainty because I know that it means limitlessness. Besides being healthy, which we are so thankful for, we know nothing. For us that means that anything is possible!”
Ali’s choice comes from not wanting to limit their child’s experiences to certain expectations that come with sex and gender.
“Neither Vaughn nor I want to fool ourselves into thinking that we know who our little angel is,” she explains. “If we knew the sex, we might decide things about our baby’s future that we have no right to decide — that our little boy will love athletics like his father, or our little girl should be sent to dance school like I was when I was young. We may unwittingly predetermine a course for our child that is ridiculous or just plain wrong.”
Rather Ali and Rasberry want to spend their child’s life getting to know who he or she is and wants to be.
“We want the full adventure and wonder of dreaming without knowing. Who will the baby look like or what will make him/her laugh? Will we have a silly, giggly baby or a more serious and thoughtful one? Will our child love music or be more fascinated by colors? Will he/she like sweets or savories? Maybe sour-tasting things will tickle him/her. Maybe she’s a rough and tumble athlete, maybe he’s a sensitive and prolific artist,” she imagines.
“For us, the joy of parenting will be to discover who we have been given the privilege to care for, protect, nurture and guide. We’ll wait for our baby to show us who they are, starting on their birthday. Until then, we’re happy to live in the fertile soil of dreamland, where anything is possible,” Ali affirms.
Read her entire post here.
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