I remember the first time I faked an orgasm. I was in college and the guy I was spending my nights with at the time was relentless in trying to please me. I had given up long before he had, and finally I leaned my head back, opened my mouth and exclaimed in faux-ecstasy, like I’d seen done on HBO many times before. I wish I could say that that was the last time that I ever let a man believe he was doing something when he wasn’t, but it’s wasn’t. There were my post-grad romps with an NYU Ph.D. student — I got tired of him asking me if I finished — and my false alarms with a long-term ex-boyfriend — I really did think that I came that time. Some time around age 24 (this is around the time that I actually had a real orgasm), I decided I was never going to fake it again, and I haven’t. Now ladies, I need you to join my pledge. There are a lot of guys walking around thinking that they know how to rock our worlds. In fact, according to a recent Indiana University study reported by the NY Daily News, 85 percent of men surveyed said that their last sexual partner had an orgasm. Meanwhile, only 64 percent of the women reported reaching a climax the last time they had sex. That’s more than a 20 percent gap, ladies. What’s the cause of this misunderstanding? Women are still faking it! I want to emphatically apologize to the female gender for the part I’ve played in this whole mix-up. If you’re faking your orgasms, please stop. The more he thinks he’s hitting your spot, the less likely he is to find ways to get you off. And, if you break up with him, he’ll be walking around thinking he knows what he’s doing until some woman says, “Hey, that’s not it, man.” More importantly, society places so much emphasis on who makes who climax. If he can’t make it happen, you can — God gave you two hands and some designer gave you a vibrator. If neither of you can do it, just enjoy the ride. Sex is still awesome without the big O.
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