• Celebrity
    • Daniel Kaluuya Digital Cover
    • Digital Cover Method Man
    • Digital Cover Zazie
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
    • If Not For My Girls
  • Fashion
    • ESSENCE Fashion House 2022
    • Fashion News
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Black Beauty Awards 2022
    • ESSENCE Hair Awards 2022
    • AVEENO Skin Health Startup Accelerator
    • Beauty News
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weave
    • 4C
  • Love
    • Love & Sex News
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • ESSENCE Gift Guide 2022
    • ESSENCE + smartwater Live Well Challenge
    • Build Your Legacy 2022
    • Dream & Plan with Confidence Prudential
    • AMEX Platinum Travel
    • Homecoming Season 2022
    • Lifestyle News
    • Health & Wellness
    • Black History Month
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
  • News
    • Paint The Polls Black
    • Sponsors Recognition Page 2022
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Video
  • Festival
    • 2023 ESSENCE Festival Of Culture
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Fest Videos
  • Events
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Girls United Summit
    • 2022 ESSENCE Fashion House
    • 2022 Black Women In Hollywood
    • 2022 HOLLYWOOD HOUSE
    • 2022 Homecoming Season
    • Wellness House
    • She Got Now
    • Dear Black Men
    • I Am Speaking
    • Power Tools
  • Studios
  • Girls United
Skip to content
SUBSCRIBE
  • MAGAZINE
  • NEWSLETTER
  • Celebrity
    • Daniel Kaluuya Digital Cover
    • Digital Cover Method Man
    • Digital Cover Zazie
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
      • Paint The Polls Black
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
    • If Not For My Girls
  • Fashion
    • ESSENCE Fashion House 2022
    • Fashion News
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Black Beauty Awards 2022
    • ESSENCE Hair Awards 2022
    • AVEENO Skin Health Startup Accelerator
    • Beauty News
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weave
    • 4C
  • Love
    • Love & Sex News
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • ESSENCE Gift Guide 2022
    • ESSENCE + smartwater Live Well Challenge
    • Build Your Legacy 2022
    • Dream & Plan with Confidence Prudential
    • AMEX Platinum Travel
    • Homecoming Season 2022
    • Lifestyle News
    • Health & Wellness
    • Black History Month
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
  • News
    • Paint The Polls Black
    • Sponsors Recognition Page 2022
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Video
  • Festival
    • 2023 ESSENCE Festival Of Culture
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Fest Videos
  • Events
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Girls United Summit
    • 2022 ESSENCE Fashion House
    • 2022 Black Women In Hollywood
    • 2022 HOLLYWOOD HOUSE
    • 2022 Homecoming Season
    • Wellness House
    • She Got Now
    • Dear Black Men
    • I Am Speaking
    • Power Tools
  • Studios
  • Girls United
Home · News

Real Talk: Fabulous and Broke = Fronting

Do you ever wonder how those around you pull off the fabulous life, while you're steady grinding and still living check-to-check? Here's the equation.
Real Talk: Fabulous and Broke = Fronting
By · Updated October 28, 2020
I’m writing to you from L.A. I’m out here at the BET Awards. And all weekend, I’ve been seeing fabulous people at chi-chi, foo foo events. In the past four days, I’ve been (window) shopping on Melrose Place, Rodeo Drive and The Grove, partying at the W, Mr. Chow and SLS, hitting up every “official” anything I can get into (and on the list for) — all in the name of enjoying my book tour/vacay. But I gotta be honest, as I work the scene, I’ve been wondering where I fall short.

Here’s the deal: I work a full-time job, keep a full-time hustle, and just published a book -– and of course, my new “Real Talk” blog. And yet, I can’t pop bottles, rock red bottoms, or splurge on Louis Vuitton at will. And more often than not, even though I don’t have kids or student loans, when I crunch the numbers, the math just doesn’t add up to pay my bills, contribute to my 401(k), stash a chunk away for a rainy day, and still be high-end, designered-down four days in a row, much less today.

So for most of my getaway, I’ve been sitting in a friend’s cabana or VIP suite, drinking X-Rated Fusion Liqueur, sparingly. And all the while, I’m calculating numbers in my head of what everything costs to live the glamorous life. Honestly, I am also wondering what I’m doing wrong. How is it that I work from sunup to sundown (literally), and I don’t have the life, that fabulous life, that so many others seem to having?

“You know what I call the people in here?” asks a gentleman to my right, interrupting my thoughts. I met him in passing two days ago at a celebration for the 20th anniversary for “Boyz in the Hood.” He ID’d himself as a veteran talent agent at a well-known and reputable firm. “F. A. B.,” he says, answering his own question. “Fabulous and Broke.”

He went on to explain that “fake it till you make it” is the L.A. way. And just so I don’t develop a bias against his city, he wants me to know that he’s also lived in D.C., NYC, and ATL in his twenty-plus-year career, and it’s “the way” there, too. “The problem is, the vast majority of people don’t ever make it,” he explained. “The reality is, you make a show for people you don’t know, who don’t really care about you and you end up bankrupt by 40.”

His story reminded me of a friend from grad school who was pursuing an MBA, specializing in the entertainment business. He was convinced that to break into the game, he had to look like “the people” he wanted to represent and be at all the places attended by those who were already there. That meant designer tees at $150 a pop, custom kicks and five-day weekends at every major music festival around the country. As he flew off to four-star hotels in Miami, Vegas, and Atlanta, I’d be grinding away at an unpaid internship, then an entry-level job, wishing I could have his life.

My wake-up call came 18 months later when he called me in a panic, not knowing what to do next. He was 23, 30K in credit card debt, and still had student loans.

“That’s the reality of living the FAB life at any age,” said the veteran agent, imparting wisdom I didn’t know I needed. “People with real money can pull it off, but they don’t have to. Most ball, then fall.”

I looked around the party at the 200-plus well-dressed guests, wondering who was balling, and who was a check (or two) away from falling like Alicia Keys.

Discuss.

Demetria L. Lucas is the Relationships Editor at ESSENCE and the author of “A Belle in Brooklyn: Your Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life” (Atria) in stores now. Follow her on Twitter: @abelleinbk
COMPANY INFORMATION
  • Our Company
  • Customer Service
  • Essence Ventures
  • Change Your Address
  • Contact Us
  • Job Opportunities
  • Internships
  • Media Kit
  • tag
SUBSCRIBE
  • Newsletters
  • Give a Gift of ESSENCE
  • Magazine Tablet Edition
FOLLOW US
MORE ON ESSENCE
  • Home
  • Love
  • Celebrity
  • Beauty
  • Hair
  • Fashion
  • ESSENCE festival

ESSENCE.com is part of ESSENCE Communications, Inc.

Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.

©2023 ESSENCE Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Essence.com Advertising Terms

Get The ESSENCE Newsletter and
Special Offers delivered to your inbox

By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Get The ESSENCE Magazine
by subscribing below
subscribe now