My friend said, “I told my husband that if he wants to sleep with someone else at some point in our marriage, to let me know. I’ll understand.” I knew where my sisteren was coming from, but I’m not sure I agree.
As our conversation continued, she said, “We are human beings. Do you really think we can be with the same person forever and never have sex with another?” Um… “Yes, I do.”
It is safe to say that commitment and the meaning of the word will vary with the individual and circumstances. I totally understand that we are human beings and we are not error proof, and we have the right to change our minds, and we have the right to walk away when our best is no longer enough, and we have the right to end a relationship. But when do we say when? When and how do we decide that the commitment is no longer a binding agreement?
Am I naive to believe in and want a relationship in which commitment to fidelity, monogamy, honesty, friendship, forgiveness and communication never fades to black? Some are okay with a commitment to honesty… “No sins as long as there’s permission. And deception is the only felony, so never *@#$ nobody without telling me…” –Kanye West. ~ PAUSE~
Tell me you don’t LOVE that Watch the Throne CD. Each time I listen to it, a new line hits me. Hard. I’ve heard some haters chat about how they are so tired of what rap has become and they can’t believe what Kanye and Jay did to that beautiful track with Mr. Otis Redding. And are rappers not over talking about money and flossing, blah, blah, blah… Listen to the entire CD before u start hating. These men can’t talk about the struggle forever. They write about their lives and what they’ve known. It’s their dance with THEIR lives and artistic flair. Let them live! Now, please note, I’m speaking ONLY on Jay and Kanye at this time. There are some artists that I am NOT feeling! That’s another blog entry! ~ PLAY~
So for some, as long as they know what their partner does, they believe they’re okay with it. Maybe… until they start to wonder WHY their partner is interested in another. And I keep hearing that it’s only physical with some. We’re animals and scientifically… ~PAUSE ~
While science says we are animals, we are a thinking species and we have control over our actions. If one uses the physical and scientific as an excuse here, I will challenge that it’s mind over matter. What role does self control or lack thereof play here? ~PLAY ~
I’m not judging anyone. I’m truly “thinking out loud here.” There was a time when all I wanted was a commitment to honesty. As I get older and as I fall deeper in love and as I learn to understand love and what I want out of a loving relationship, I realize I want a commitment to commitment, to a willingness to keep at it, to monogamy, to friendship, to communication, to us, to our union… to ME. And yes, deception is still “a felony so NEVER *@#$ nobody without telling me!”
Nodding my head; song clear and loud in my mind…
“Human beings in a mob. What’s a mob to a king? What’s a king to a God? What’s a God to a non-believer who don’t believe in anything? Will he make it out alive? Alright, alright, no church in the wild…”
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