There’s no denying that Love & Hip Hop: New York stars Papoose and Remy Ma’s love is the real deal.
Each week, watching the rapper duo love each other through thick and thin has inspired viewers to look closer at what it really means for husbands and wives make it work. They tied the knot while Remy was serving a 7-year prison sentence and stayed devoted and committed to each other throughout her incarceration, which gave them an unexpected tool to use in their marriage—excellent communication. “We were deprived of a lot of things that the average couple has,” Papoose explains. “There was a point in time when we couldn’t be together how we wanted to—we couldn’t just sleep together at night or be alone together. I was once prevented from seeing her for six months and we would just write each other letters. Communication was all we had.”
Remy and Papoose are living and loving each other on their own terms, and in the process they’re teaching us all a lesson in the meaning of true love. Now hip-hop’s sweetest hubby explains what it really means to hold your spouse down.
Humble Yourself
“I think marriage is all about sacrifice and compromise,” Papoose says. “If you really love somebody, you have to be willing to humble yourself and make a sacrifice; make a compromise for that person. I would put my wife before myself because I understand the vows that I made when I got married—I live by them.”
Recognize When He’s Real
“I feel his actions will definitely speak louder than his words,” Papoose suggests when asked how a woman can know her man is genuine. “You will be able to see it by the way he treats you. When a man isn’t treating you right, that is definitely the first sign. Men, we sort of act out our feelings as opposed to women who communicate how they feel.” Men, insists Papoose, watch their actions more closely than their words. “If he isn’t making you feel loved and making you feel appreciated, then it’s probably not there.”
Let Each Other Speak
“Let the other person talk,” Papoose suggests, with a seriousness in his voice that really resonates. “That’s what we do, we take turns speaking. When you try to speak at the same time, and you’re yelling, and your baby is yelling, in the end you don’t get anything accomplished. Take turns speaking and work it out…until there’s an end result.”
No Outsiders Inside Your Marriage
“If you are in a relationship with a person, it’s just you and that individual,” Papoose tells us. “It’s not really a 3rd or 4th body… People always have opinions, and I feel like you’ve got to keep your relationship between you and your spouse. Don’t ever allow other people come in between you.”
Secure Your Own Legacy
“When I was a child, there were wedding pictures on the wall of my mother and my father, so seeing that as a kid, it made me have the goal, like, one day I want to have me a wife, I want to get married,” Papoose shares. “I think as parents, we have to set examples, so our kids can see that because that is one of the things that made me want to find a wife one day and settle down. All that plays a part.”