• Celebrity
    • Of The Essence
    • Celebrity News
    • If Not For My Girls
    • The State Of R&B
    • Time Of Essence
  • Fashion
    • 2023 Best In Black Fashion Awards
    • 2023 Fashion House
    • Red Carpet
    • Fashion News
    • Accessories
  • Beauty
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
    • 2023 Best In Black Beauty
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Hair
  • Lifestyle
    • Love
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
    • Bridal Bliss
    • Lifestyle News
    • Health & Wellness
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
  • Entrepreneurship
    • Money & Career
  • News
    • Latest News
    • Paint The Polls Black
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Shopping
  • Video
  • Events
    • 2023 Fashion House
    • 2023 ESSENCE Festival Of Culture
    • 2023 Wellness House
    • 2023 Black Women In Hollywood
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2023 HOLLYWOOD HOUSE
  • Studios
  • Girls United

WHERE BLACK CULTURE, COMMUNITY AND CONSCIOUSNESS MEET

Sign up for ESSENCE Newsletters the keep the Black women at the forefront of conversation.

Your email is required.
Your email is in invalid format.
Confirm email is required.
Email did not match.
Select the newsletters you'd like to receive:
Please select at least one option.
By clicking Subscribe Now, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
Skip to content
SUBSCRIBE
  • MAGAZINE
  • NEWSLETTER
  • Celebrity
    • Of The Essence
    • Celebrity News
    • If Not For My Girls
    • The State Of R&B
    • Time Of Essence
  • Fashion
    • 2023 Best In Black Fashion Awards
    • 2023 Fashion House
    • Red Carpet
    • Fashion News
    • Accessories
  • Beauty
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
    • 2023 Best In Black Beauty
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Hair
      • Hair News
      • Natural
      • Relaxed
      • Transitioning
      • Weave
      • 4C
  • Lifestyle
    • Love
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
    • Bridal Bliss
    • Lifestyle News
    • Health & Wellness
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
  • Entrepreneurship
    • Money & Career
  • News
    • Latest News
    • Paint The Polls Black
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Shopping
  • Video
  • Events
    • 2023 Fashion House
    • 2023 ESSENCE Festival Of Culture
    • 2023 Wellness House
    • 2023 Black Women In Hollywood
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2023 HOLLYWOOD HOUSE
  • Studios
  • Girls United
Home · News

My Life As a Military Wife: He Serves Our Country, I Serve Our Family

Ava married her college sweetheart, then he joined the military. Twenty six years and 12 deployments later they're still going strong.
My Life As a Military Wife: He Serves Our Country, I Serve Our Family
By Charli Penn · Updated October 28, 2020

Ava Martin, 49, has been an Army wife more than half her life. She met her husband, Colonel Jeremy Martin, when they were students at Grambling State University. It was love at first sight, and right after graduation they tied the knot. Her husband’s first active duty military assignment came just a few weeks after their wedding. They have two children, both born on military installations — one stateside and one overseas. “We made a decision a few years after the birth of our first child that I’d put my career on hold and take care of our family,” Martin tells us. “It took some getting used to, but we haven’t regretted that decision one bit.” Their son Jeremy Nicolas is now in college, and their daughter Rachel attends high school.

After 26 years as a military spouse, and with a whopping 14 moves under her belt, Martin has mastered the art of holding down her family and making marriage work. She prides herself on being an exemplary wife and mother and the pillar of their family. “At the end of the day, I married an Army officer,” says Martin. “It’s challenging, exciting, and not without sacrifice. But I love it, and God has been good to us.”

How does she do it? We sat down with Martin to discuss balancing love, life in the military and family. Her strength and devotion to her lifestyle and her husband’s passion are an inspiration.

ESSENCE.COM: People say the army is like one giant extended family. Would you agree?
AVA MARTIN: It’s a very special family. When we became a part of the Army family, I didn’t really know what to expect. I quickly learned that it’s about service and sacrifice. I’ve embraced being an Army wife because every place we’ve been, we’ve become a part of the community, and we’ve met a lot of military families. We’ve all supported each other.

ESSENCE.COM: What have been some of the biggest challenges for you?
MARTIN: Deployment would be one, because when Jeremy’s deployed, he’s away from home but things at home must continue. You can have a sick child or a car that breaks down or a driveway that needs to be shoveled — life just has to continue no matter what. It can be very challenging.

The kids sometimes don’t understand military life. I remember once when my husband was away and my daughter was in a Christmas play. He wasn’t able to attend and she didn’t really understand why her dad was in Afghanistan and he couldn’t be there. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to a 5-year-old that their father’s away. Those times you can’t get back. She understands better now, but when he’s away he misses anniversaries and big dates.

ESSENCE.COM: How many times has he deployed?
MARTIN: He’s been deployed quite a bit. He’s had one long deployment and a lot of shorter deployments. I would say about 10 or 12 maybe. He’s been to Iraq and Afghanistan supporting senior leaders. He was last deployed to Afghanistan in 2010.

ESSENCE.COM: What do you feel are the most common misconceptions about Army wives?
MARTIN: That we’re robots and we can’t think for ourselves, and also that we’re dependent on our husbands. We have the same life experiences as our spouses. They’re deployed serving our country and we’re here on the home front keeping things going, so we’re also serving. We have our own interests and desires, and we find a way to balance that.

ESSENCE.COM: What is it like having to start over each time you have to pick up and move to a new place?
MARTIN: I think it’s tougher on the children because leaving their school friends is a bigger adjustment for them. Attending new schools, making new friends; it’s all just harder on them. I think I adjust very well to it because of other people and their support, and because they’ve been through the same thing. After 15 moves you kind of learn as you go.

ESSENCE.COM: Is your husband planning on leaving the military any time soon?
MARTIN: It’s been 26 years, so in another three years or so he’ll have 30 years. We’ll transfer into a civilian community I’m sure. But, I think I’ll miss Army life. I have made a lot of friends, and I continue to make friends now. I’ve always kept in touch. I think I’ll miss the structure and the security of Army life, too.

ESSENCE.COM: What keeps you gong?
MARTIN: I believe in what I’m doing. My children need my support, and my husband needs my support as well. I serve along with my husband. We always support each other. My day starts about six in the morning. I get my daughter off to school and then I volunteer in the school, the church and with community activities. I keep my health and my family’s health going. I love being an Army wife. It’s been a sacrifice that I’ve embraced.

COMPANY INFORMATION
  • Our Company
  • Customer Service
  • Essence Ventures
  • Change Your Address
  • Contact Us
  • Job Opportunities
  • Internships
  • Media Kit
  • tag
SUBSCRIBE
  • Newsletters
  • Give a Gift of ESSENCE
  • Magazine Tablet Edition
FOLLOW US
MORE ON ESSENCE
  • Home
  • Love
  • Celebrity
  • Beauty
  • Hair
  • Fashion
  • ESSENCE festival

ESSENCE.com is part of ESSENCE Communications, Inc.

Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.

©2023 ESSENCE Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Essence.com Advertising Terms

Get The ESSENCE Newsletter and
Special Offers delivered to your inbox

By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Get The ESSENCE Magazine
by subscribing below
subscribe now