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As soon as we’re old enough to be given dating advice, women are always told the same thing — there’s a right and a wrong way to land a man. Don’t ever sleep with a man on the first date, your girlfriend’s exes are off limits, and never tell the truth about how many men you’ve slept with. The list of supposed “rules” goes on and on. But, do these dating “rules” still apply? What happens when we bend them? Can’t we just throw some of them away altogether?

Happy couple Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade grace the cover of ESSENCE’s new Love issue, and inside you’ll find the answers you seek. ESSENCE Senior Writer Jeannine Amber called on some of her favorite relationship bloggers and asked them to come together for a friendly debate on the new dos and don’t of dating. It was the women vs. the men in a rare chance for both sides to say their piece.

Demetria Lucas, author of A Belle In Brooklyn, Abiola Abrams, host of Abiola’s Kiss and Tell TV, and Charli Penn, Relationships Editor and founder of Man Wife and Dog, represented for the ladies, while Until I Get Married creator Jozen Cummings, Anslem Samuel, creator of Naked with Socks On, and Damon Young, co-founder of Very Smart Bros., held things down for the fellas.

You’ll have to pick up the new issue (on stands Thursday January 12th) to find out which rules they voted should stay, or go, but here’s a sneak peek at some of the behind the scenes action and dating advice the group dished out.