Our guest editor sits in for Finesse this month to solve your man troubles

The man I’m dating is intelligent, he opens doors for me, and he puts up with my moodiness. But he has a small penis. I know they say, “It’s not the size of the ship,” but I’m a big girl, and you can’t throw a pebble in the ocean and expect a big splash. What should I do? -Lisa, 34

Sex is an important part of a relationship-but it isn’t everything. If he’s a good man and you love him and want to make the relationship work, discuss your needs openly, honestly and, most important, lovingly. Start by telling him how much you adore him. Let him know how incredible it is when you are together, and then add that you’d like to introduce some fun new toys into your lovemaking. After that, run and get the biggest vibrator you can handle and ask him to help you enjoy it! Still not satisfied? It might be time to find a bigger pebble.

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I broke up with my ex last year after I found out he had been cheating, but I can’t get him off my mind. We haven’t spoken since the breakup, but I check his MySpace page, which is how I know he’s dating a woman pregnant with his baby. I’ve tried seeing other people but haven’t met the right person. How can I move on? -Naomi, 26

Definitely quit clicking on his MySpace page. Instead of torturing yourself over his new life, you could be focusing on your own. Dwelling on old relationships prevents us from giving all of ourselves to the next one. If he couldn’t appreciate you for the beautiful person you are, then be thankful he’s gone. Leave the pity party; just put one foot in front of the other and press forward starting today. If someone asks you on a date, go and just have fun. Let go of the past. Don’t worry about the future. Stay present in the moment and in time, you will heal.

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