I’m going to hold your hand when I say this: we have to be prepared for death.
When my mom was studying to become an Elder, she had to learn various passages to use throughout her ministerial career. These passages were for milestones and everyday celebrations, such as baby dedications, baptisms, and weddings. There were also passages for funerals and burials. Often, I’ve joked with her that I could be an honorary Elder just from the number of times we had to practice the graveside passages and scriptures.
Despite knowing the formalities of a funeral and burial, and supporting my mom in the bereavement of her parents and other loved ones, when it came to making arrangements for my father, I was clueless. And unprepared.
I wasn’t prepared for my father’s death for several reasons. The primary reason was that he and I weren’t in a good place when he died. Because of that, I never thought I would be involved in the funeral planning. I never imagined being there to identify his body, sort through his things, file for a death certificate, contact a funeral home, or anything of the sort. The second reason I was unprepared was that he was unprepared for death. There was no notation of final wishes. We didn’t know if there were special people from his past that he would have wanted to be at his service. We found that numerous insurance policies were either lapsed or had not yet reached a point of payout. And, after decades of hard work, there was nothing in place to redirect what he owned. We had no will, no trust, no genuine direction.
His lack of preparedness caused a tremendous strain, both physically and emotionally, as well as financially. This is a common scenario for many families. And with the average funeral & burial cost in the United States being around $7,000 to $12,000 for a traditional burial,
many families are unable to afford proper burials without fundraisers or selling off personal assets. Our loved ones shouldn’t have to do that.
The Rate Of Insured Black Americans Has Increased
Black American life insurance ownership increased during the pandemic. As a result, about half of us (56%) own life insurance. However, when we start to look at the reasons why Black people lack life insurance or have coverage gaps, it’s very nuanced.
People are afraid to talk about death because it’s taboo or superstitious in some cultures or families. Some people believe that death is something that only occurs in old age, so they have plenty of time to prepare. Life insurance, including its terms and benefits, can be challenging to understand. And then there’s that common root reason for many issues in the Black community: racism. During the Jim Crow Era, Black people were classified as high risk by insurance companies. As a result, companies would charge Black people more in premiums whilst simultaneously offering less burial insurance. Or, they would simply deny them coverage. Fast forward to the present day, these historical practices lead many to believe that life insurance is obtainable, yet expensive, or won’t be adequate for their needs.
“Instead of thinking of life insurance as an expense, treat it like it’s an investment in your family’s future,” says Aida Taylor Bond, an Independent Insurance Provider. There are premiums designed to fit any budget. A policy not only covers burial costs and final expenses, but it can also help families maintain their standard of living, serve as a wealth transfer, or provide supplemental retirement income.
She further explains, “With plans that can cost less than a daily cup of coffee, it’s a small price to pay for the long-term security and peace of mind it provides for your loved ones.”
Life Insurance & Wills Go Hand-In-Hand
When it comes to end-of-life planning, life insurance is only one aspect. We should also have a will. In layperson’s terms, a will is a legal document that dictates where your assets will be distributed upon your death. It can also outline guardianship of your children and ensure that your final wishes are carried out, maintaining a sense of autonomy and dignity. Taking control of these aspects can be empowering.
Last week, multimillionaire and retired professional football and baseball player Deion Sanders sparked social media conversations on death preparedness when he shared in a video that he had “just created a will” in the wake of a recent health scare and surgeries.
“Mentally, emotionally, last night was tough, yesterday was tough, because I had to make a will. That’s not easy at all, to think that you may not be here,” Sanders said. It’s an important lesson we can all learn from Coach Prime, and a call to action.
“The benefits of investing the time, energy, and thoughtful consideration into drafting a will far outweigh the temporary discomfort of navigating uncomfortable conversations about death and dying,” shared Joél Simone Maldonado, a Licensed Funeral Director and Sacred Grief Practitioner. Avoiding these difficult yet essential conversations, she says, can be the dividing factor between legacy preservation and families and/or communities losing it all.
How To Have The Death Talk With Your Family
Joél’s platform, The Grave Woman, highlights end-of-life care and advocacy for people of color. Her suggestion for starting the conversation is to utilize intimate gatherings as an opportunity to dust off family photo albums. This opens the door to discuss those loved ones who are no longer here and provides a candid opportunity to express our wishes and details about our funeral arrangements and other end-of-life preferences.
By having a simple conversation and making proper preparations, you can significantly ease your family’s burden at a difficult time, providing them with emotional relief and peace of mind, knowing that your wishes are being respected and followed.