The holidays are magical — but they also come with pressure. From matching pajama photos to curated tablescapes and gift hauls, social media can make it feel like your season isn’t complete unless it looks a certain way. For Black women — especially those of us balancing careers, families, and personal goals — the pressure to “perform” holiday perfection can quietly cost both our joy and our money.
The curated, filtered world of influencer content can be captivating, but it comes with hidden costs that most of us don’t talk about. Until now.
Here’s what you need to know, and how to reclaim a season that truly belongs to you.
The Cost of Comparison
Scrolling through influencer content during the holidays can stir more than just admiration — it can trigger a sense of inadequacy. Seeing curated moments of joy, perfectly decorated homes, or lavish gift hauls often leaves us comparing our real lives to someone else’s highlight reel.
For many Black women, who have long carried the weight of showing up and overperforming in every space, this pressure can feel intense. What starts as inspiration can quickly turn into emotional labor. We can begin to feel that our holiday experiences are never enough, that our homes aren’t picture-perfect, that our celebrations lack something essential.
The truth is, you don’t need to replicate someone else’s holiday to deserve joy. Protecting your self-worth means remembering that your life is real, your effort is enough, and your joy is valid — whether or not it’s on display for anyone else.
Don’t Drain Your Dollars
Those “small” purchases promoted by influencers can add up fast. A $38 ornament here, $120 matching pajamas there, $60 to recreate someone else’s tablescape, or a $250 gift you hadn’t planned on buying. Individually, they might seem harmless, but collectively, they quietly drain your resources. Overspending in pursuit of a trend or a momentary feeling of belonging can delay savings, increase debt, and set you up for financial stress in the new year.
Many influencers make spending look effortless, but it’s curated. And remember, that’s their job. They are paid to make you spend. Your future self will thank you for pausing, budgeting, and deciding whether an item truly adds value or is simply succumbing to social pressure.
From Cart to Closet to Castoffs
It’s easy to scroll, buy, and forget — but those purchases don’t just pile up in your home; they pile up in the world. Holiday influencer content often inspires trends that encourage buying things we don’t need, from décor to gadgets to gifts that are quickly forgotten. Once these items are stashed in closets, storage bins, or barely touched shelves, they create physical clutter in our homes — and contribute to larger environmental waste when products are discarded, replaced, or never fully used. The cycle of see it, buy it, store it, forget it, repeat doesn’t just affect your space and your wallet; it leaves a footprint on the planet. Being intentional about what you bring into your home during the holiday season protects your peace, your finances, and the environment.
Culture Shouldn’t Cost a Thing
For Black women, the holidays carry an added layer of expectation. We often find ourselves being the glue, the magic makers, the memory keepers — the ones who stretch emotionally, financially, and physically to create a “perfect” experience. That pressure can come from internalized cultural expectations, generational norms, or simply the weight of wanting to make the season magical for those around us. But the holiday spirit our mothers and grandmothers passed down wasn’t built on aesthetics or social approval. It was rooted in laughter, love, food, and the simple act of being present. When we remember this, we can navigate social pressure with grace, focusing on what truly matters, not what looks good online.
Protect Your Peace (and Your Wallet)
Intentionality is everything when it comes to both emotional and financial well-being. Begin by deciding what matters most to you before opening social media. Set a holiday budget that aligns with your reality, not someone else’s curated feed. Pause before purchasing anything and ask yourself, “Is this adding to my joy, or just adding to my cart?” Don’t be afraid to mute accounts that trigger overspending or stress. The money you save can go toward paying down debt, boosting your emergency fund, investing, or creating experiences that genuinely enrich your life. Protecting your peace is not selfish — it’s essential for your long-term joy and financial health.
Your Season, Your Sauce
A meaningful holiday doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. It doesn’t need to be expensive, perfectly styled, or social-media-ready. Your season can be abundant through intention rather than imitation. Prioritize the traditions, connections, and moments that bring you real joy. Celebrate your way, within your means, and with practices that align with your values. The most beautiful moments aren’t posted — they’re lived. By reclaiming your season, you are choosing authenticity over performance, presence over perfection, and intention over trend.
Give Yourself the Gift of Intention
This holiday season, remember that the best gifts aren’t bought. The most beautiful memories aren’t captured on a grid. And the truest form of abundance isn’t measured by price tags or social approval. You are allowed — encouraged, even — to set boundaries, protect your peace, and celebrate in a way that honors your finances, your emotional energy, and your values. When you do that, every moment becomes richer, every connection deeper, and every celebration genuinely yours.
Kara Stevens is the founder of The Frugal Feminista and author of heal your relationship with money and Unmasking the Strong Black Woman.