Black women are expected to survive everything—broken homes, broken systems, and when love leaves, broken marriages—without flinching. We’re told to push through, pray through, and piece ourselves back together while keeping our kids, our careers, and our sanity intact.
But we know how false—and how harmful—that narrative is.
While roughly 40 percent of first marriages will end in divorce, Black women walk into the process already weighed down by a wage gap and wealth gap that shape everything that comes next. We earn 64 cents for every dollar earned by white men. Single Black women own 8 cents for every dollar of wealth that single white men hold. And the median wealth for Black households sits at $44,900, compared with $285,000 for white households.
On top of that, Black women face disproportionate caregiving responsibilities as they are often either the sole or primary income earner in their households, and Black single mothers have higher average annual child care costs compared with white single mothers.
“Women who took time out of their careers to raise children often don’t advocate for compensation for their contributions to their spouse’s career advancement or their loss of earning capacity and retirement savings,” says Michelle Muhammed, CFP, CDFA, ChFC, and Founder of The Next Chapter Divorce “I’ve seen this from women across many racial groups but it’s amplified in Black divorces. I’ve sometimes had to explain to women that they are worth it and advocating for themselves financially is not selfish or greedy.”
So when a marriage ends, the financial fallout isn’t just disruptive—it’s destabilizing. The wrong decision, the wrong attorney, the wrong assumptions can create years of consequences.
For Liv Lewis, 47, founder of Livd.co, a community platform for women navigating a separation or divorce, the emotional upending was only half the story. “The biggest shock? Learning I had to pay spousal support while receiving nothing for the kids — and then being held responsible for every dollar of debt we’d built over 14 years,” she says. “It felt like being hit with a bill for a life I was no longer living—and I was pissed.”
And the money unraveling was immediate. “Divorce wiped out my savings—fast. My credit shifted, my lifestyle tightened, and suddenly every decision—from groceries to career moves—came with a whole new kind of pressure,” she says. “And five years later, I’m still digging out. Rebuilding wasn’t a bounce back; it became a chapter.”
The same is true for Star Williams, 29, who divorced after 18 months of marriage. “After we divorced, I had to take care of everything financially on my own,” she says. “When you’re married and splitting costs… it does alleviate some financial strain; but once we got divorced, I couldn’t eat out as much, treat myself to massages or even spend as much on hair/nails.”
All of this makes a post-divorce strategy essential for Black women’s financial survival.
Divorce Doesn’t Have to Destroy You: Pitfalls to Dodge
The decision to divorce is difficult. Divorce brings grief, anger, confusion—sometimes all at the same time—making it easy to make emotionally-driven choices that force avoidable financial mistakes that will cost you for decades. But the right strategy can protect your sanity and your savings:
DIY-ing Your Divorce? Think Again
Trying to save money by handling a divorce without professional help can backfire. Errors in paperwork, missed asset claims, or improperly documented agreements often require costly legal fixes later. Muhammed notes, “I’ve had more Black women call me with horror stories after attempting DIY divorce—years later, they’re still trying to collect assets or income because it wasn’t done properly.”
Including professionals like a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst(CDFA®) as part of your divorce team can actually be more cost-effective in the long run. “Attorneys know the law but often do not guide you on the tax and financial implications of certain settlement options,” warns Muhammed. “Not knowing which assets you may be entitled to could result in missed opportunities for you and your children, and if your spouse does something unpredictable—financially, legally, or involving your children—you may not be equipped to respond.”
Black Woman Breadwinner Blues: Know What You’re Signing Up For
Roughly one-in-four Black wives (26%), like Lewis, out-earn their husbands, making Black women more likely than any other ethnic group to be the breadwinner in their marriage, and that comes with unexpected financial responsibilities in divorce. “I find that women may not realize that being the breadwinner means they are more likely to pay their soon-to-be-ex-husbands spousal support and/or be responsible for splitting their much larger assets,” observes Muhammed.
Revenge or Resolution? Pick a Lane.
Divorce can be emotional, and some women prioritize “winning” over financial sense. “Too many women focus on legal/court remedies for revenge instead of alternative dispute resolution options (ADR) like mediation and collaborative divorce,” says Muhammed. Using an amicably focused team—mediators, CDFAs, attorneys, and mental health professionals—can save money and reduce stress, while protecting long-term financial and co-parenting stability.
Your Attorney Isn’t Your Therapist—or Your Financial Planner
Attorneys are trained in law, not financial planning or emotional care. “Relying on them for advice outside their expertise can be costly,” says Michelle Muhammed. Therapists, on the other hand, have specialized training to help you process the emotional side of divorce. Using your attorney as a therapist or financial advisor often means overlooking critical financial considerations that can haunt you long after the “50/50” split is finalized. Muhammed emphasizes, “You need specialists doing what they’re trained for. Use a CDFA® for financial modeling, an attorney for legal protections, and a therapist for the emotional work. It’s the best way to protect yourself and your children.”
Uncle Sam is not Patient: Tax Realities After a Divorce
Once you’re officially divorced, it changes your tax reality immediately. In fact, the first year post-divorce is often when women feel overwhelmed, especially when taxes and financial management are suddenly all on their shoulders. Alex Davis, CPA, CFP, and Principal at AGA Tax and Consulting Services LLC, offers the following guidance to ameliorate the financial anxiety around several critical financial changes post-divorce:
Tax Filing Status: If you have children, make sure you’re filing as Head of Household, not Single. “I’ve seen clients overpay thousands of dollars because they filed incorrectly,” says Davis. “ ‘Head of Household’ offers better tax brackets and can significantly lower your tax bill.
But there’s a critical caveat: Even if you’re not claiming your child as a dependent, you may still be eligible to file as Head of Household. “The IRS distinguishes between who claims the child and who the child lives with. If your child lived with you for more than half the year (183+ nights), you’re the custodial parent and can file as Head of Household, even if your divorce agreement gives your ex-spouse the right to claim the child as a dependent,” says Davis.
This is a residency-based benefit that cannot be signed away. “Many people mistakenly believe that if they’re not claiming the child, they must file Single, but that’s not true,” adds Davis.
Child-Related Tax Issues: “Follow your divorce decree regarding who claims the children, but protect yourself by filing Form 8332 with your tax return,” says Davis. This form documents the agreement and prevents future disputes if your ex-spouse tries to claim the children when they shouldn’t. Davis adds that if you’re the custodial parent filing Head of Household but not claiming your child as a dependent, enter your child’s name in the entry space directly below the filing status checkboxes on Form 1040.
Alimony and Child Support: If your divorce was finalized after December 31, 2018, alimony is no longer tax-deductible for the payer or taxable income for the recipient. “Child support is never taxable income, so don’t report it on your tax return,” offers Davis.
Remarrying? Proceed with Intention, Planning, and Patience
If you’re ready to love again, this time with clarity and a stronger money mindset, your next marriage deserves protection, truth, and financial respect. Approach your next union with these financial frameworks in mind:
Consider a prenup. First, consider a prenup not because you expect divorce, but because you expect peace. “Learn the laws in your state. Protect what you’re bringing in — assets, savings, property — with a prenup. Not because you expect the worst, but because you expect to stay whole,” says Lewis. A prenup isn’t unromantic. What’s unromantic is inheriting someone else’s debts or waking up to financial chaos you didn’t bargain for.
Rethink patriarchal faith-based financial advice. Many Black women grow up with teachings—both cultural and religious—that position men as the head of the household, responsible for leading the family spiritually, emotionally, and financially. While these beliefs may be well-intentioned, in practice, they can leave women financially exposed, especially when a spouse is irresponsible or negligent with money.
“I’ve had clients who delegated every financial decision to their husbands because that’s what their pastor or imam advised—only to later find themselves scrambling to reclaim money lost to debt, failed businesses, or mismanaged investments,” says Muhammed.
When taking a chance on love again, factor in how this will likely impact your financial security and autonomy.
Frontload financial conversations before “I do again”. Before walking down the aisle for a second time, know the answers to these financial questions: What are your financial values? Who pays for what? How do you handle children from previous relationships? What are your debt situations? How do you make big financial decisions?
Update your estate plans immediately: This is non-negotiable when blending families. “You likely have retirement accounts, pensions, and assets from your previous marriage, and you need to ensure your beneficiaries are current,” says Davis. “Update your will, trust, and all insurance policies to reflect your new family structure. This protects both your new spouse and your children from previous relationships.” Don’t assume it’s handled; actively confirm it.
Communicate consistently once married. Black women entering second marriages need a proactive, structured approach to finances. Davis emphasizes, “Communication is everything. Make money conversations a regular part of your relationship from the very beginning.” She even recommends having “money date nights” to normalize ongoing financial transparency.
And don’t step too far away from the finances once you’re settled. “Don’t outsource your power. Even if your spouse manages day-to-day finances, you still need visibility,” says Davis.
Strive for balance. Blending finances can feel like a loss of control or autonomy if you’ve been managing your own finances successfully, especially after divorce or years of independence. “You don’t have to merge everything immediately or ever, if that doesn’t work for your relationship,” reminds Davis. “Many couples successfully use a ‘yours, mine, and ours’approach, maintaining separate accounts for personal spending while contributing to joint accounts for shared expenses.” What matters most is that you’re both transparent and communicative about the approach you choose.
Manage your money emotions. Blending finances can trigger anxiety, especially if you’ve never managed money independently, if you’ve been hurt financially in the past, or if you’re someone who values independence. When you’re doing something new or unfamiliar with money, your body’s stress response kicks in. “Find practices that help calm this stress response—breathing techniques, meditation, journaling, or EFT tapping,” says Davis.
Move with grace. “Blending finances is a process, not a one-time decision. You’ll make adjustments as you go, and that’s completely normal,” says Davis. What matters is maintaining open, honest dialogue and mutual respect throughout the journey.
Divorced but Not Denied
Divorce may shake your world, but it doesn’t end your story. For Black women especially, it becomes a moment to reclaim power, rewrite narratives, and rebuild wealth with intention—not survival mode. You deserve softness and strategy and safety. And you deserve the kind of love—whether with someone else or just with yourself—that doesn’t cost you your financial future.
Kara Stevens is founder of The Frugal Feminista and author of heal your relationship with money and Unmasking the Strong Black Woman.