Mary J. Blige has endured a long road to the top of her Grammy-winning music career.

The R&B diva recently opened up about alcohol abuse and the sexual abuse she suffered as a child.

“When I was 5 years old, I was molested,” Mary divulged on Vh1’s “Behind the Music,” which aired this past Sunday. “That thing followed me all my life. The shame of thinking my molestation was my fault — it led me to believe I wasn’t worth anything.”

As she got older, drinking excessively became a way to drown out her pain. “I had no self-respect. I hated myself,” said Mary. “Alcohol, sex, drugs — I’d do whatever it took to feel better. It was definitely going to kill me.” It was her husband, Kendu Isaacs, who helped her break free of her addictions.

“I didn’t want to be this alcoholic burden on him,” she added. “I took responsibility and I cleaned up, as much as I could. But it was hard.”

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