• Celebrity
    • Cardi B and Offset Cover
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
  • Fashion
    • Digital Cover – Method Man
    • Digital Cover – Zazie Beetz
    • Fashion News
    • Fashion House 2021
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Black Beauty Awards 2022
    • ESSENCE Hair Awards 2022
    • AVEENO® Skin Health Startup Accelerator
    • MAYBELLINE: FIT ME MATTE + PORELESS
    • Beauty News
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weaves
    • 4C
  • Love
    • Love & Sex
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • Build Your Legacy 2022
    • Prudential – Dream & Plan with Confidence
    • Black History Month
    • AMEX Platinum Travel
    • Holiday Gift Guide
    • Lifestyle News
    • Coronavirus: Everything You Need to Know
    • Health & Wellness
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
    • Currency Conversations
  • News
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Videos
  • Festival
  • Events
    • Road to Festival
    • 2022 Black Women In Hollywood
    • 2022 HOLLYWOOD HOUSE
    • Entrepreneur Summit 2021
    • Wellness House
    • VAX & VIBES Louisiana
    • Girls United Summit 2021
    • She Got Now
    • Fashion House 2021
    • GU Back To School
    • Dear Black Men
    • I Am Speaking
    • WELLNESS HOUSE: YEAR OF RENEWAL
    • Power Tools
    • Making Moves Now: Virtual Bootcamp
    • #EF SESSIONS
    • Cares Act
    • News & Announcements
  • Essence Studios
  • Girls United
  • Subscribe
  • Newsletters

WHERE BLACK WOMEN COME FIRST

Every day we're serving Black women deeply. Come get a plate of goodness! Sign up for daily content and exclusive offers you'll love!

Your email is required.
Your email is in invalid format.
Confirm email is required.
Email did not match.
By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms of Use and that you have read our Privacy Policy
Skip to content
SUBSCRIBE
  • MAGAZINE
  • NEWSLETTER
  • Celebrity
    • Cardi B and Offset Cover
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
  • Fashion
    • Digital Cover – Method Man
    • Digital Cover – Zazie Beetz
    • Fashion News
    • Fashion House 2021
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Black Beauty Awards 2022
    • ESSENCE Hair Awards 2022
    • AVEENO® Skin Health Startup Accelerator
    • Beauty News
    • MAYBELLINE: FIT ME MATTE + PORELESS
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weaves
    • 4C
  • Love
    • Love & Sex News
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • Build Your Legacy 2022
    • Prudential – Dream & Plan with Confidence
    • Black History Month
    • AMEX Platinum Travel
    • Holiday Gift Guide
    • Lifestyle News
    • Coronavirus: Everything You Need to Know
    • Health & Wellness
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
    • Currency Conversations
  • News
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Videos
  • Festival
    • Sponsors
    • Fest Videos
  • Events
    • Road to Festival
    • 2022 Black Women In Hollywood
    • 2022 HOLLYWOOD HOUSE
    • Entrepreneur Summit 2021
    • Wellness House
    • VAX & VIBES Louisiana
    • Girls United Summit 2021
    • She Got Now
    • Fashion House 2021
    • GU Back To School
    • Dear Black Men
    • I Am Speaking
    • WELLNESS HOUSE: YEAR OF RENEWAL
    • Power Tools
    • Making Moves Now: Virtual Bootcamp
    • #EF SESSIONS
    • Cares Act
    • News & Announcements
  • Studios
  • Girls United
Home · News

<p>7 Things I Have to Tell Myself in the Midst of Heartbreak</p>

The ending of a relationship is painful and with the heartbreak comes tears and self-loathing, a diet deeply dedicated to chocolate, ice cream and wine along with some deep feelings of frustration and aggrevation. In the midst of the breakdown of the relationship, whether short or longterm, here are seven things I have to remind my aching heart that you should also share with yours.

By Lauren Porter · Updated October 27, 2020
01
Time Wasn’t On Your Side

Being in the wrong place in life means the time will never be right. Whether in a relationship or in a friendshi,p when the timing is off–what will be will be. Don’t take it personal, you’re not to blame.

Tim Robberts via Getty Creative Image
02
Wants vs. Needs. vs. Deserves

Knowing what you want, what you need and what you deserve are three different things. Making a choice in love that isn’t the best idea is just something you have to do. A bad boy is sometimes what you want and might be just what you need. Just make sure your heart, mind and soul know what you deserve.

 

©Peathegee Inc/Blend Images LLC via Getty Creative Image
03
Say No to Self-Blame

Blaming myself for learning a lesson in love or life won’t make swallowing a bitter pill any easier. In various situations, not coming out on top doesn’t mean you’ve lost. Don’t blame yourself as you’re still growing!

 

©JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images LLC via Getty Creative Image
04
Don’t Feel Like the Victim

Cry for a night or two, ok maybe even three or four but then wipe away those tears and smile bright. Getting over the hump is the hardest part but once you’re over it, you’re over it!

Getty Creative Image
05
Play me once, pity me never

The ever-wise Prince once said, “A person trying to play me plays themselves,” and he was right. We all get caught up due to lapsed judgement but staying knocked down will never make the situation any better and besides a pity party is never really a party at all. 

©Peathegee Inc/Blend Images LLC via Getty Creative Image
06
Moments of self-doubt are normal
They say a temporary setback is only a set up for a comeback–and it’s the truth. Knowing you’re more than good enough even when it feels like the weight of the world is crushing you means all you have to do if dust your shoulders off when you’re feeling
©JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images LLC via Getty Creative Image
07
Just Trust Yourself

Learning to trust myself in making wiser decisions will get better over time and that moment of feeling free is truly cathartic. It’s the last step of getting over the burden of feeling broken only to realize you weren’t really broken at all. 

Tim Pannell via Getty Creative Image

Read More

2022 Essence Festival of Culture
Lauryn Hill Makes An Electrifying Surprise Appearance At The...
In Defense of Black Lives
NYC Mother Fatally Shot While Pushing Baby In Stroller
2022 Essence Festival of Culture
Nicki Minaj Shuts Down The ESSENCE Festival Stage, Brings Ou...
News
Brittney Griner Makes First Appearance In Russian Court For ...
Shop
11 Stylish Trousers On Sale For Amazon Prime Day
COMPANY INFORMATION
  • Our Company
  • Customer Service
  • Essence Ventures
  • Change Your Address
  • Contact Us
  • Job Opportunities
  • Internships
  • Media Kit
  • tag
SUBSCRIBE
  • Newsletters
  • Give a Gift of ESSENCE
  • Magazine Tablet Edition
FOLLOW US
MORE ON ESSENCE
  • Home
  • Love
  • Celebrity
  • Beauty
  • Hair
  • Fashion
  • ESSENCE festival

ESSENCE.com is part of ESSENCE Communications, Inc.

Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.

©2022 ESSENCE Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Essence.com Advertising Terms

Get The ESSENCE Newsletter and
Special Offers delivered to your inbox

By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Get The ESSENCE Magazine
by subscribing below
subscribe now