Don’t believe the rumors! Even though it’s not always easy to get along with your in-laws, it is possible and worth the effort. Both of you must be willing to put in the work. Avoiding her is not the answer and you shouldn’t neglect to try to bond with her because you feel you can’t. Make a great first impression and keep in touch. It’s important to always be on her radar!
If you want to get to know his mother better, you’re going to have to start talking – to her. The phone is a great place to begin, especially if she’s out of town. But, when you’re together, always be sure to make room for a little one-on-one time. Show her what her son sees in you and vocalize your intentions and your goals with the relationship. Just remember: Mom’s like straight talk, so be ready for it and be honest.
When he’s talking about his mother, listen carefully for clues on her likes, dislikes and hobbies. It will make buying her birthday gifts or wowing her on Mother’s Day that much easier. It won’t matter what you spent, but she’ll appreciate the fact that you chose something special for her as thoughtfully as you would for him. Trust!
If mom lives nearby and they’re closer than close, there will always be a little awkwardness in the adjustment phase as he learns to balance time and attention for the two special ladies in his life. Bear with him, and remember that it’s important to compromise and consider every one’s needs and feelings. Saying “you can’t!” or “No more!” when it comes to his mother won’t likely end well. Start with phrases like “I wish” or “It would mean a lot to me if…” to help you start the conversation off on a positive note.
When mothers-in-law and their son’s wives (or wives-to-be) mix, the results aren’t always smooth. It happens. But, what happens next is ultimately up to you. When frustrations rise, remember to keep your cool and act like the lady that you are. Loosing your temper could mean that you’ll say or do something you’ll regret, and his mom may always remember, and possibly hold against you. Think about it!
There’s no room for diva like behavior if you’re hoping to get on your future mother-in-law’s good side. Make the time to lend a hand when you can and don’t be shy when it comes to volunteering a little extra time.