Girl’s Best Friend: Good Men Do Exist
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“All the good men are either taken, gay or don’t like Black women!” That’s a statement that I have heard far too many times from women. The fact is, ladies, it’s just not true. Not only do I know plenty of heterosexual, single men who like Black women, but I’m constantly meeting even more that I did not know. I really believe in the power of intention as well as the laws of attraction, and I think some of that statement becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Recently, at a party at my friend’s house, two of my sister-friends were discussing the status of men in New York, and particularly Black men. One of my sister-friends vehemently criticized the men that she’d encountered for not being up to par. In her eyes, there was an abundance of jerks out there and a scarcity of the proverbial “good man.” It was clear that she was embittered by her experiences dating in The Big Apple.

My other sister-friend could not have disagreed with her more. Her reality was a stark contrast to the bitter sister. She said she had no problems finding men of quality and challenged my other friend to think about her perspective. Moreover, she reminded her that she was in a house full of the type of guys she was looking for – successful, attractive, kind and interested in a commitment. Even if they weren’t directly interested in her, she highlighted the fact that birds of a feather flock together.  

As the discussion ramped up, two of the single guys there jumped into the conversation. They agreed with my positive-minded sister-friend that maybe the other’s approach was preventing her from meeting the type of guys she wanted. Although I stayed out of the discussion and enjoyed watching, I too believe that the energy that my sister-friend was putting out was the primary reason why she was not attracting the right guy. By going into any situation with such a negative attitude about men in general was definitely not the honey that gets a good bee’s attention.

I must admit that I get tired of the Black man bashing that happens too frequently. Sure, there are some rotten apples out there, but that doesn’t make the entire bushel rotten. Being a black man in America in of itself is a struggle for a myriad of reasons. If our own sisters believe that there aren’t any of us left that are good then, how do we expect the rest of our society to respect us? It’s upsetting because I am surrounded by exemplary men who are the quintessential man and many of them are single. So, I know firsthand that my sister-friend is incorrect.

I hope the discussion encouraged my sister-friend to reassess her evaluation of men. Instead of limiting her opinion to the men she’d dated, she mistakenly lumped all men together. With this approach, I strongly believe that she was blocking herself from meeting the type of guy of which she dreamed. No “good man” wants a woman that doesn’t believe he exists.

Wishing you LOVE & CEASLESS JOY!  

Follow @NathanHWilliams on Twitter.

Nathan’s book INSPIRATION: Profiles of Black Women Changing Our World is available now.

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